or is it just that somehow [I] knew I was going to get swedish fish that day

a woman is making a face in front of a pixel art ALT: a woman is making a face in front of a pixel art

my mama might have some gifts.

why was I thinking about swedish fish and when I got to her she tells me that she got me some swedish fish

a man in a pink shirt is sitting on a toilet and blowing a bubble gum . ALT: a man in a pink shirt is sitting on a toilet and blowing a bubble gum .

if I miss my melatonin window because of this, I’m gonna be really upset

omg 🤤

SMILING THROUGH IT ALL
CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE RIGHT NOW

because why do I have to be the one to do it?? 😩😩

i’m so sorry, this part always feels unfair

yeahhh I was like “oklahoma? like the city of norman?? oh, no. not that one. well, what’s this one then???” 😭😭

ring size?? lmaoo that’s a new one 😭

the heated blanket is the worlds greatest invention.

oh he a lil nosey ain’t he??

why does everything sound like AI? sounds like something the new alexa would say

This is a stunning photo.

now what y’all out there eating?? my mama gon get mad about her garden?? 😂😂

TMI — I think it may be time to visit my GI doctor. sometimes before I have to poop I get hot, lightheaded, and dizzy. it’s like my body goes into “we need to get this shit out RIGHT NOW” mode or something. don’t think that’s normal.

it’s very strange. I do have a hernia somewhere in there. ugh.

so we byke?!

there’s a crane fly in my room and I couldn’t be more annoyed because why would you come in here?

and now I gotta adjust to having a new roommate because I’m not getting up to take you outside. it’s too late and i’m comfy.

text message that reads: I was thinking about when I was the designated driver that night we went out for your birthday and I was making you cry by looking out for you and telling you to drink water and stuff and one of your friends was like "STOP being nurturing"hahaha And was like that's what making her cry was hahaha

one of my friends sent me this today lmao this was for my 26th birthday, we were roommates at the time. idk if I want to laugh or cry 😂😂

BREAKING: A jury has found Live Nation and Ticketmaster to be an illegal monopoly that overcharges fans.

After the federal government settled the case, 34 states kept pursuing the giant ticket and concert company.

Now, the states have won.

just want y’all to know this entire time I thought she was saying “681 up in that bitch” like okay girl, rep ya area code!!

not only did I learn the correct lyrics today .. I learned 681 area code is fucking west virginia 😭😭😭😭

oh. didn’t expect that one

it’s just funny how the referral to “healthy weight & wellness” isn’t working out *at the moment*, but if I wanted to go back to the “unhealthy” weightloss clinic that was leading me to restrictive eating, I could have an appointment by friday 🫠🫠

dreams about death always scare me a little because I haven’t figured out how to interpret them yet

Woman Diagnosed with Vulvar, Cervical and Anal Cancer After Learning Her Husband of 30 Years Had Cheated on Her A Florida woman learned that her husband of 30 years had been cheating on her and that he had given her HPV. Soon after, she was diagnosed with cancer of the vulva, cervix and anus, which are linked t...

One can only hope her cheating husband develops untreatable cancer on his penis.
people.com/woman-diagno...

TW: CSA

Does he really deserve to profit from your incessant desire to become unliterate (I know that’s not a word, I just invented for literate people who no longer want to exercise the language processing area of their brain)? Do people in Memphis deserve to be poisoned for your emails??

It’s nice to hear contracts in the millions for WNBA players.

okay so doors open at 6:30, event begins at 7:30.. what time does cardi actually come out??

When I do finally sleep it’s going to be amazing 🤩

I’d still like to ask my great grandmother why she decided to name her twins Harry & Harold 😭

please 🤣🤣