Another solo night out to see the incredibly funny Michelle De Swarte. Been looking forward to this for months!

A 91-year-old grandmother was reported unresponsive, prompting a welfare check by police. When officers arrived, they found her in her room, busy setting a new personal record on a video game.

I saw a post the other day that said "Emerald Fennell is the exact person Common People is about" and I've not stopped thinking about it

The inmate however was very sweet and said "Miss, I don't think you should be here without a mask. Some scruffy cunts brought TB on the wing"

I think my words were "are they having a fucking laugh?!?"

Especially after I found out yesterday that there was TB on the wing FROM AN INMATE! Four hours later I got an email from prison management like "hey, TB on the wing, don't go there" after I'd spoken to 3 inmates on that very wing.

Forgot to mention last week but I GOT A NEW JOB!!!!

Won't start for aaaaaages because of vetting but it's nice to know I'll be seeing the back of prison work soon.

Hall of fame FT correction

We didn't deserve this day.

A 'Dinosaur Smarties' Easter egg.

Erm, they're called palaeontologists, actually.

Happy birthday becks

Watched The Passion Of The Christ for the first time last night just so I could watch him spit System Of A Down

Hello, I have a new book out in the spring with Picador and I would love it if you could help me spread the word.

IF WE TOLERATE THIS draws on years of work, to help readers understand why British politics is hurtling rightwards and what to do about it.

Pre-orders: uk.bookshop.org/p/books/if-w...

Gave the WhatNot app a download after seeing it all over my socials for fucking months. Jesus fuck it's lasted an hour before I deleted it. It's like if QVC and TikTok had a hateful baby. 🤮

Homemade sourdough pizza with chorizo topping

First sourdough pizza.

Fucking thrilled honestly it was brilliant.

🔥 Whale Shark gliding through Bioluminescent Algae looks like its floating through space. By Mike Nulty

Turns out today was my ex's funeral. He had battled with addiction for most of his adult life and it ultimately took him from his friends and family at just 39 years old.

Rest easy Ben. I hope you found happiness in the last 6 years. Alcoholism is a brutal beast

I cannot explain how fucking fed up I am of hearing Raye - Where is my Husband

Please! I beg! Ban it from social media now!

Cheers Louis, but you're a bit late to the game honestly.

Women: "men are being harmed by these online groups"
Media: "you can't say gingerbread man anymore, feminists want you to say gingerbread person"
Women: "the manosphere has ties to fascism and it's recruiting younger and younger boys"
Media: "FEMINISTS DONT THINK TITS ARE FUNNY ANYMORE!"

Like does he talk to Laura Bates or other writers who have written whole fucking books on this? Does he demonstrate how feminist groups have been vilified with bullshit headlines in mainstream media?

a cartoon character is sitting on a bed holding a remote control and a lamp . ALT: a cartoon character is sitting on a bed holding a remote control and a lamp .

I can't make up my mind if I want to watch the latest Louis Theroux doc.

Like, yeah, great. Show these guys up. But as someone who's been watching this shit grow for nearly 20 years through Reddit and sounding the alarm only to be called a feminazi I'm a bit

Great day at work. Got chatting to a lady in the canteen and she's bringing me in her sourdough starter next week!

If there isn't a staffy on one of them I'm going to kick off

a woman is talking to a little girl in a hospital bed and says these are a few of my favourite things . Alt: Animated GIF of a scene from the film "The Sound of Music." A woman is sat on a bed next to a young girl. The woman is singing. A caption at the bottom of the image reads "These are a few of my favourite things"

"🎵 Badgers on banknotes..."

Native British Animals you say?

So between denying trans kids access to affirmative healthcare and the guidance effectively banning social transition in schools, one could be forgiven for concluding that the government's strategy is to to maximise the suicides of trans kids, to minimise the numbers who survive to be trans adults.

Pauly Walnuts very seriously telling someone that “it’s called Broad daylight because women light up the world”

international women’s day