I want peace but I also want to fuck shit up

OOPS: ALL COWBELLᵀᴵᴺᵏ ᵀᴵᴺᵏ ᵀᴵᴺᵏ

Who up incorporating Hosenpheffer while schlemieling they schlimazel?

I'm very mechanically-reclined

*pulls lever; leans back

~ is short for Tilda Swinton

Maple syrup is derived from the sap of maple trees but the Maple Usurper shall rise in the North as foretold by the prophecy

we obviously can't all wang chung simultaneously

bro, does your light even shine bro in the halls of Shambala

A low, squat, air fryer that will accommodate an entire pizza

pot roast is just beef you cook at 420°

we all wish we could fly into the sky so very high just like a dragonfly lenny kravitz you ain't special

We are each touching the stove at our own pace

weathered comic book cover for "The Adventures of Fat Freddy's Cat" book 1 from Rip Off Press , art by Gilbert Shelton. A very stoned Freddy can be seen thru the window coming up the stairs to return home. Meanwhile, the cat has completely destroyed the apartment in his absence, inc. stripped the branches from a plant, pulled down the curtains, punctured the now leaking waterbed, unraveled a sweater, strewn tape off of the reel, walked on the records, killed a caged bird, shredded the side of a chair and has shat on Freddy's pillow, so a good day's work

I'm allergic to cats but still observe this holy day

I think I’ve experienced enough lifetime trauma to justify becoming a serial killer and I’m honestly a little annoyed I turned out to be a people pleaser instead.

Damn, you know you're getting old when you get up in the morning and have to rest for awhile.

*gets weed out of the atti- oh wait it’s right here in my hand nvm lmao

her name should be sabrina singer

i'm just saying a good test of how much your ideas suck is whether you can imagine barry white singing about them

i grew my account the old fashioned way: by being an idiot online

Late #bunday entry

ok, so Helsinki is not in Hell's Kitchen, which makes no sense

*rap-tappity-tap*

some apple exec: I spent twenty million on an ad campaign and he just tweeted it out

Update: Oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit

BuzzBallz Coctails Biggies (big yellow bottle in the shape of a ball) Mango Lime rebranded with Squirt grapefruit flavoured soda label

ʀᴇғʀɪɢᴇʀᴀᴛᴇ ᴀғᴛᴇʀ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ

accents are funny it’s like how tf does your voice know where you were born?

Jake Mangum spots kid in the crowd, tosses the ball, and her brother catches it and gives it to her. Dudes rock.

Vampire hunting may appear glamorous, but half your time is just spent trying to manage your PPE situation

For Your Rainy Day Consideration: Soup