Those who cannot remember the past are actually pretty stoked to repeat it

Idk what they’ve been teaching or how they’ve been grading tests in medical school for the last 50+ years but I think they need a curriculum change, my doctors don’t know shit about fuck

LFG

Strawberries at the store today taste like if someone were trying to smell them from memory

Sources: Kate Martin and long-time girlfriend, Claire Gransee, have ended their relationship. Kate Martin is now single.

Why are Tim Robinson’s DMs turned off I have something really important to tell him

I know a papa murphy’s chicago stuffed pizza when I see one

😭

Idk I just made it up

That’s actually called a gigasquat

I believe in ghosts but I do not believe in ghost hunters

Hahahaha

Omg the first guy who asked to see my underwear is having a baby with his wife 🥹

Planning the pranks I’m gonna play on my friends at my funeral is hard bc I’m really only motivated by a strict deadline and ???

Everything is happening very fasct

I was going to suggest you wear a shirt that says “NOT SETH ROGEN” but that’s something he would wear

There should be a database of adopted rescue dogs that says which agency they came from and what their name was at the rescue so you can find dogs you applied for but didn’t end up adopting! I need to check up on some of my almost babies! What if they are close by and I can go say hi 🥺

How am I supposed to wear those on my head

I turned on dog tv for my pets but all three of us are locked in

I hate this stupid motherfucker

This reads like the last desperate bullet point on a resume

Rudy’s is the closest to real pizza imo

It’s gotta be Roz

Yes

What is a movie that makes everything better

This is the gayest and outest WNBA All-Star yet, love that

Really good lol

Elle?????

Caitlin Clark in the shirt which is black with white lettering

WNBA all stars wearing a "Pay us what you owe us" shirt in warmups