Girl SAME, only when my appendix ruptured! They hit me with that morphine and the pain went from a genuine 10 to nothing. I felt genuine peace descend on me like a beautiful dove. They wheeled me into emergency surgery as I sang a song from Notting Hill.
I’m always gonna go Uranium
Crime isn’t enough, we need to be in cahoots way more often
You ever take a photo and just KNOW it would have done numbers on 2008 Tumblr
In short, when we are all invited to pick up our weapons and attack a particular famous or semi-famous woman, perhaps it’s worth asking who’s asking us to attack her and why! Be critical of the media you consume, even when it’s about celebrities! Bye!
If you hear “So-and-so hired crisis PR firm Whatever,” your first thought should NOT be “wow, they’re taking this seriously.” It SHOULD be, “Wonder what’s going on here???”
Crisis PR does NOT mean “PR you hire in a crisis.” Crisis PR means “I have killed a sleeping person with my car and need to make it look like their fault.”
If I was still capable of being surprised by things, I’d be surprised by how many people genuinely don’t know what crisis PR is.
“I asked Chat GPT” well I asked the desert in spring, and it doesn’t like you.
I think a lot of Opinion Pages would benefit from an editor who understands the difference between exploring a controversial idea as a concept versus exploring a controversial idea as a viable option for current or future action.
I’ve never read the 1930 Nancy Drew books, only the modernised versions, and this bitch is out here breaking into people’s houses because her dad is a rich lawyer? Nancy is the VILLAIN!
TikTok ghost hunters, 2026: We’re going to film this spirit with our phones.
Nancy Drew, 1930: I’m gonna shoot this ghost in the fucking face.
Imagine being crushed to death in the canned food aisle?! An unglamorous way to go!
We simply cannot outsource every ounce of struggle or joy in our lives! If we cannot sit around the table with our family and directly antagonize the dickheads amongst them, who are we as humans?!
It’s the week of Thanksgiving, and there’s no better time to be a tall person at a grocery store. Grandmas and Aunties asking if I can reach them that thing they need up on the top shelf? Ma’am, I would follow you into hell barefoot. Here’s your jam.
And another thing: I’m not making a Pentiment sequel please don’t put in the newspaper that I am making a Pentiment sequel
what’s- what’s the good way
I will find you in every lifetime and that is a threat.
“Why do they all drive weird old cars, why is everything named after an Eagan, what do you mean Lumon owns Mark’s house” — people who didn’t grow up in company towns.
Ok who on the Severance team also grew up in Australian mining towns pls show yourself @benstiller.redhour.com
If I ever get famous I hope the paparazzi are ready to photograph me half naked eating kimchi straight from the jar 3-4 times a day because thats who I am and the only thing money will change is that the jar is gonna get bigger
The divide between people who left twitter to come on here and be pleasant with their pals and people who left twitter to come here and get exponentially more deranged is striking
Already ✨working towards my goals✨
The Substance is a New Year’s movie.
“What happened to Britney was wrong” says someone who just posted 15 TikToks about how Blake Lively is lying about sexual harassment.
Much as I love giving maligned women a second act 20-30 years after culture destroyed them, perhaps we could look at not destroying them in the first place.
And they say print is dead.
This episode of Lower Decks made me cry!!!!! We are truly living in a golden age of Star Trek; this is such a beautiful love letter to the beating heart of DS9 and I’m so happy I get to see it
I’m setting aside my deep and abiding hatred for musicals bc this absolutely rules
Literally the best thing about this show is Garak serving Q levels of camp.