Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for

Gotta wonder if Rodney Mullen kickflips his dustpan as much as I do.

Literally the only way they can claim credit for lowering egg prices is if they admit to fucking chickens.

Good thread and the reason I’m pledging my next vote to anyone willing to commit to calling Trump and Vance dumb at every opportunity. As a box of rocks. Can’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground. Fucking stupid. Just the plain truth.

Great! When’s the next episode of AST Radio coming out then?

Where was this resolve when the genocide was coming from your own party, with a president that would ostensibly listen?

“Desperately needed ballroom” might beat baby shoes for sale as the shorted saddest story ever written.

Enjoy the good fight Jen. Like I said, I think you do good work when you do the work you’re good at. Hope I get to see you report some good news regarding labor at a some quality publications. And I really hope you work on writing better jokes. I think you can do much better. I would be hard not to.

Would have been a great suggestion and a reasonable response. Also wouldn’t have cost the Objective a subscriber. But if there’s anything to take from Jen’s writing and personal philosophy it’s “act like a normal person, don’t speak up, otherwise you’re bothering everybody and deserve to be shamed”

And I’m sure they encouraged you to come back for the next level, check in hand.

I don’t discount your economic knowledge, because as you’ve pointed out, you’ve got an education and experience with it. I’ve got 20 years in comedy, 12 explicitly writing jokes. You’re a hack. Kiss my non gendered ass.

Feel free to hold an idiot accountable for his dumbass remarks in front of the ASG press, but get told that your first thought attempt at humor is a bit cringey and all of a sudden it’s another example of the Man keeping you down.

I don’t think I have any say in your shit. But I do know a writer, especially a journalist, needs to know they have an audience, or else it’s just masturbation. You’re a shitty joke writer with thin skin, who can dish it out but can’t take it or you’re jacking off and waiting for an applause break.

Hey is there a way to get your interesting professional labor and baseball articles on some sort of separate feed from your underwarmed and overused jokes? I avoid sports talk morning shows cause I don’t like them, I don’t need their first drafts in my feed.

You gotta mike the box.

What a dipshit.

i dream of a day, and i think it's not a crazy dream, where the united states discovers anew the concept of, "regulation"

The people I feel sorriest for are The Troops, who America's baseball team let down, probably because they don't really respect them.

europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of hormuz

Now watch Inside with Willem Defoe

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

You live where they blow up chicken men, you live with the consequences.

Our remodeling company meets the level of excellence set by the Rockies

And top 5 factors in Garon sucking.

What have been the biggest factors in eschewing and leaving bigger podcast networks in favor of the NNF system they’ve set up.

What fear and what hopes come up when he looks at his son setting out on a career in entertainment? With his son going into the business, does that make Jimmy and family into a “Hollywood Dynasty”?

What would he tell a young Jimmy Pardo about to press record on his first podcast?