Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

The first one was faulty / Jon broke it

Last call on helping me win another WEBBY

VOTE: tinyurl.com/4xdadcjx

a blue number 40 with balloons and confetti ALT: a blue number 40 with balloons and confetti

So! Later this month (April 24), I turn 40 years old. 👵

Until then, I'm reducing the price for the paid versions of my newsletter and Patreon (I cross-post the same thing to both) by 40%.

Please consider buying a sub.

Newsletter:
www.readtpa.com/parker40

Patreon:
www.patreon.com/parkermolloy

There are some similarities between Edward Scissorhand and the E.T. films. Could be interesting to see a showdown between the two characters. Would revitalize Johnny depps career

How to get coyote off your roof

No one cares or remembers Mr. Hooper as he was not a Muppet. Just a boring old man like you.

@nicklutsko.bsky.social your silly songs have made me laugh countless times, but your recent song Carnival has been truly comforting in the wake of my brother’s passing. Thank you for that ❤️

“Time is a criminal, it takes all in the end, but we remain indivisible, ‘cause I will never forget.”

Nick Lutsko - Hold You (Official Music Video) YouTube video by Nick Lutsko

Between this new album and Swords, @nicklutsko.bsky.social is singlehandedly proving that living your life by social media metrics is for fools. Yes, his silly songs go viral and I love them, but this video with 11,000 views will stick with me much longer. Thanks. www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiKu...

You are so jealous of youth

Thanks Andrew. It was great meeting you IRL!

Sitting in an airport with my bags as my family gets snacks and am just absolutely grooving to Ends by @nicklutsko.bsky.social

An incredible album that I’ve been enjoying even more since I saw him and his wonderful band perform last week. Recommended for people with hearts and good taste.

Can you believe this beautiful man came from Chattanooga Tennessee to Boston?? @nicklutsko.bsky.social

Got to meet @nicklutsko.bsky.social thanks to @krisknigge.bsky.social. shouldn't Nick be in a videogame?! Tell him he should and maybe he'll forget how kissy I got here

Yup, it's Gremlins time @nicklutsko.bsky.social

Tiger Woods in handcuffs

Why does Tiger Woods in handcuffs after his recent car crash look like ET?

Webby, bathed in purple

Seeing @nicklutsko.bsky.social tonight but the star of the show is already on stage

Getting myself pumped up for tonight's @nicklutsko.bsky.social show in NY!

NYC! We’re playing Mercury Lounge tonight at 8:00. Grab tickets while you still can: nicklutsko.com

Special guest confirmed!

NYC tonight!

LOL or GTFO YouTube video by Nick Lutsko

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Ue... can’t believe I’m seeing big Nick @nicklutsko.bsky.social perform on this most important holiday

Bebop was a flop. But otherwise I approve of this message

Had an absolute blast seeing @nicklutsko.bsky.social tonight!! Dracula *can* get wet!

Still coming down off the high of the @nicklutsko.bsky.social show yesterday night. Phenomenal. Met Big Nick and stammered out a thank you for his album Ends, my favorite album.

@randysteeleonbanjo.bsky.social was incredible too. "Hard Givin'" is such a good tune. Plus, he makes a great jar opener!

Great seeing you Tyler!