Toska, a young grey-and-white cat, sitting in a cardboard box that has “mangoes from our farm” written on it in colourful letters

mangoes from our farm

Excellent textiles from the annual church garage sale

Who else feeling Soiled/Damaged due to missing the beating heart

a drawing of a pink-orange figure with wings laying on a grassy hill under a blue sky. there are blue flowers in the grass

benevolent in the grass

coming off pristiq/desvenlafaxine this week, withdrawals got me freaked, pensive, lethargic. feeling like a prey animal on stimulants during hibernation. not so much “trembling” as “vibrating”. praying….

a photo of a merch table, covered in prints and drawings in plastic sleeves

LOL the only pic i got of my table tonight ~ sold lots !!! ben and i did covers of mitski, daniel johnston, & cameron winter + a couple originals w/ cello and chord organ… sounded awesome and completely forgot to record it <3

recent scribbles 3

recent scribbles 2

recent scribbles 1

a drawing in scratchy blue ink of a cat with a human face seen in profile

fursona

- it’s that she just doesn’t care enough. zionism’s reputation (amongst the left, I guess) is what she is primary concerned with. that people associate zionism with nazism or imperialism is of greater concern than actual, currently-happening genocide, to her. evidently.

to dismiss the insistence of her saying something about gaza as “I can’t do it in a brand-appropriate way!!!1” (her comment about getting in the bath with netanyahu) - is as disingenuous as it gets. she IS capable of caring and presenting serious information. it’s CLEARLY not about that -

so her total lack of emotional weight here indicates, frankly, that she doesn’t /really/ give much of a shit. zionism’s reputation is evidently of more significance to her. if she actually believed this was genocidal, she wouldn’t dismiss it w such dispassion, and from a totally phoney vantage point

- initial ‘acknowledgement’ of genocide, I think from the other 95% of this ‘statement’, it’s pretty clear that she does not actually believe what isrl is doing is genocide. she IS capable of taking things seriously and presenting information seriously - I’ve listened to her do so in podcasts -

- of the profound sacrifices gazan journalists made - & continue to make - to capture and share footage. “with no consequential political outlet”. not to mention people like mahmoud khalil & countless others who face diabolical political consequences for their action. despite her Very Heartfelt(/s)

- having noticed her liberalism sooner. the whole part about ‘the left’ “distributing photos of dead Palestinian children (sic)” for the sake of “creating (…) a constant state of bloodboiling rage /with no consequential political outlet/“ has stuck with me. how violently ignorant and dismissive -

personally I wish I could write it off as standard rich, minor celebrity shit but she’s gotta be one of the most well-known trans people on youtube, so I hate that I care and am ‘disappointed’ (dno if that’s even the right word - just, like… disgusted and pissed). also feel pretty dumb for not -

finished this commish !

YouTube A project by your neighbourhood queer Lebanese leftie Ayman Makarem. I talk a lot about the repoliticizing mental health in the age of catastrophe and collapse, as well as decolonial feminism, liberation movements, and just a bunch of depressing sh!t going on in my region - which seems everyone is obsessed with. Got a podcast and make videos.

Just a reminder. Follow me on Youtube where I'm doing more videos on stuff to do with Palestine, Lebanon, Zionism, as well as repoliticize mental health stuff. I'd really appreciate some more subs!
https://www.youtube.com/@Pol_Dep

1 year since scariest thing ever

1 year since top surgery!!!!

a person standing in front of a very large, gently steaming pile of mulch. trees can be seen behind the mulch pile. a rainbow arches in the sky overhead.

the community mulch pile was steaming after the rain… the smell.. simply incredible

an acrylic painting of many trailing lines and textures. the colours include bright crimson, yolk yellow, childlike blues and purples, aqua and alpine greens. there is a central composition of long lines and scribble-like gestures.

current commission… Lord give me the strength to finish

a hand holding a chunk of dark brown river clay. the clay is textured and moist. a river bank can be seen in the background.

succulent riverclay

a work-in-progress painting on canvas leaning against a bookshelf. in front of the canvas is a palette, tubes of paint, and brushes. the painting is very colourful and messy, with gestural brushstrokes

as usual i cannot tell whether a WIP is absolute garbage or not. painted for like an hour this morning before The Horrors (sore tummy) got me. then did a little more in the afternoon. now i’m back to sulking in bed (have to paint inside today bc of plumbing horrors outside)

a photo of a bunch of textiles on the brick ground in the sun. there are t shirts and loose rectangles of fabric. on each textile is the same linocut print in black ink of an anime-style girl’s profile next to some birds and stars.

very into how these turned out…

i didn’t believe my brother when he said we had to let it get REALLY tacky but for real this was the way to get a clear print… when its the texture of like.. honey left on the counter for an hour.. and then when it was too dry i’d add another few drops of the textile medium to moisten it up!!!!!

oh my god RIGHT (i don’t know how to reply is this correct 🤨) it took us ages to figure out the exact solution.. so we used about 1 part semi-dried out acrylic paint and about 2 parts jo sonja textile medium and mixed that on glass with a print roller until it was super tacky/semi-dried (more…)

close-up of a very small aquatic snail in a glass vase. the vase is filled with colourful glass stones and small aquatic plants. roots of a pothos can be seen. the bladder snail is feeding on a dried submerged mulberry leaf

my snail haus i set up with two bladder snails from the pond!!! mulberry leaf munch.