Left Page: A gray drawing of myself looking tired, holding a resume. Behind me are various blocks of text that read various phrases such as "2 years of industry experience," "graphic designer," "no remote work," "visual artist AI training," and "what can you do better?" The overlaid text reads "But I can't find a job I like in a capitalistic society that devalues artists."
Right Page: A fake screenshot of a social media post that looks like my post reads "Look at my art please please please please please please!!!!" The overlaid text reads "But I'm tired of algorithms and advertising."
Left Page: A grayscale drawing of myself laying face down in bed with my work lanyard still on. The time on my phone reads 7:00 PM. The overlaid text reads "But I have no energy when I come home from my 'real job.'"
Right Page: A large grayscale drawing of a tablet pen. The overlaid text reads "But I can't remember the last time I picked up a pen without my brain yelling STOP."
Both pages are gray and scribbly with large, messy writing. They read various intrusive, negative thoughts, saying, "Put the pen down. It doesn't even matter. Quit. I don't know how to do this. I don't want to." The text behind it repeats some of these phrases.
The back cover reads "But I know that's not true, and I'd be worse off without you." The image shows the gray from the inner pages disappearing to the side and turning into the colors from the front page, which is shown again on the right.
It's a cycle of exhaustion vs passion. I don't like advertising myself. I'm working two jobs. I probably have ADHD. The world's on fire and feels like these little problems shouldn't even matter right now.
But I do truly love art. I love creating and drawing for others. I don't want to give it up.
