GOD what a performance. I hope they seasoned the furniture before having her chew it so thoroughly (compliment)

Justice 4 Ducky!

I looked her up and she is not as I remember her. Actually no justice 4 Ducky, maybe

History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce, third as cringe, fourth as, I don't know, kitsch

Fifth as tragicomedy, and sixth as camp...

Ah yes, testosterone gel. Or as I like to call it, leave-in boisturizer.

Those Etsy witches, however

Yes the family money comes from blood diamonds, but she donates a lot to charity

Make them kiss

Give me a fistful of Valium and a vacuum cleaner

[Supportively blaring an air horn as you vom]

The way I SHRIEKED

[seeing Jesse Plemons show up]

oh jesus, shit's about to be so fucked up

When the other shoe drops, put that shit in a donation bin and Keep Going!

That's why I went to the bookstore (run by former English teachers) instead of library for my copies of Baby Jesus Buttplug and The Faggiest Vampire. I wanted to hear someone flinch when they said my books came in.

Esterbrook Estie with nibmeister Gina Salarino's custom Journaling nib.

But like, 3 is also pretty good.

All I want from life is to look like any one of these models while delivering devastating news to a rival

The way I absolutely CACKLED

"Door hinge. You're all eating cabinetry now. I hope you're happy."

folks theyre saying the pale rider doesnt want us to break the seventh seal, theyre saying no one has the strength to handle it. what do you think folks, what do you think of that pale rider. should we do it?

*crowd going absolutely ape shit*

i dont know, i want to but they say I shouldnt

Actually the only correct answer and I don't know why there's a debate?

To the patent office, STAT!

Only the hardest Gs work in .webp

Life imitates art

wife: i want another kid

me: yeah, fuck brian

He will not take this from is. It was in my life long before he was

This girl I knew in college gave up twizzlers. I'm sure the lord is honored with your sacrifice, Stephanie