Currently the sole contents of my fridge are a bottle of Bolly, two microwaveable chocolate puddings and a pen and a half of Wegovy. I’ve peaked.

Absolutely hooooting!

I wish I could like this a second time

Reminded today that Sinitta dated Brad Pitt in the 80s. This entire paragraph is incredible.

Unproblematic king

InPost Locker, I beg. I’m never going to leave a review. Please leave me alone

Alex Hassell please. Thank you

Victoria Wood - As Seen On TV (15th February 1985). Then it was, what do you think of Marx? I said I think their pants have dropped off.

Their somewhat less successful follow up to Living Next Door To Alice

The kind of messages you receive when you and your bf are the two most online people to ever live

Wait, when did Leonardo DiCaprio turn Brazilian?

Is she gonna be the lady that wees herself?

Let’s stop turning everything into a musical please. This is gross.
Ian & Myra: The Musical next is it?

Amazing that almost everyone in the world can do a passable Kermit the Frog impression but they’ve hired the one dude that can’t

a man and a woman are standing outside of a house ALT: a man and a woman are standing outside of a house

Oh my god

I expect it will be. Those numbers doubled sit in line with the usual sizing. But weird that they would provide just that with no explanation

That’s laid flat pit to pit, surely?

I’ve been listening to Radio 2 for two weeks now and I don’t think I’ve got another Never Too Much by Luther Vandross in me tbh

Snap!

I’m breaking up with my phone in 2026 and touching grass

I’m officially done with The Discourse. I don’t have it in me to be performatively outraged about the Pantone colour of the year. It’s giving “you’re shouting at tea, Sue”

“Wow, x years already? Congrats!”

I’m planning on walking the entire length of the Pennine Way in slingbacks in memoriam

I’ve made a conscious effort to stop mindlessly scrolling on twitter and TikTok, however I’ve replaced it with mindlessly scrolling on Vinted instead and it’s costing me a fucking fortune

God, you disgust me

Happy pride month to the fella who does the announcements at Tottenham Court Rd Station and the fella who does the announcements at Tottenham Court Rd Station ONLY. Have a good one babe x

Delighted to be staying in Vienna’s premier Russ Abbott themed hotel

CLAIRE IT’S FRENCH #eurovision

You’ve changed your tune!