Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

Here’s a feed cleanser.
Dogs catching treats.

movie about all the world's nations working together to stave off an environmental apocalypse succeeds by completely avoiding politics

A lot of 40k lore videos are narrated by people with UK accents and "Terra" and "Terror", which both come up a lot, sound exactly the fucking same and Youtube's subtitles can't seem to tell the difference either

im way less joking than yall would like to think

🫶👀

it would genuinely be the funniest thing in the world if one of the richest person in the worlds personal newspaper got overtaken in print memberships with a paper that has stuff like this in it

Counselor: These feelings of "everything sucks," how long have you had them? Butt-head: Uhh, since everything started to suck, I guess.

Here it is, your moment of zen.

haha holy shit

look, the right wing's fever dream of the left is simply not true. no elected official no matter what their political persuasion is gong to go on TV and urge their constituents to read some hot man-on-man smut [aide whispers in my ear] wait what

Day 2 of being stuck in our apartment. Just called out from work. They still haven’t plowed our complex. Even if I clear out the front of my car there’s no way I’m getting up the hill. Like 6-7 inches of snow and an inch of ice. Dense enough that even my heavy ass can walk across the top of it lol

Canadian Weather Forecast: WHAT TO EXPECT OTTAWA Freezing rain Light snow Furries Wednesday

Warhammer maker Games Workshop has banned the use of AI in its content production and its design process, insisting that none of its senior managers are currently excited about the technology. https://bit.ly/49xT9Xl

Miss you too!! <3

Aww happy birthday!!!🎂🎈🎁 handsome boys <3

Why is it called that then?

Made local news by going on strike for 3 weeks at work

Finally built a new pc after over a decade

Hit 3 year anniversary with our D&D group

Got my license and registration stuff done so officially a VA resident now

Survived lol

Landscaping guy literally just smacked our living room window with a leaf blower

Tiled image of bears wearing various fashion accessories like hats, glasses, and necklackes

Bears bears bears 🐻🐼🐻🐼🐻
#MARU #art

Job has been on strike all month, going back to work right after Christmas is gonna be so weird

Aww adorable <3 happy birthday @degiburr.bsky.social !!!

While unionized Starbucks workers are on strike for a fair contract, don’t cross the picket line!

Show solidarity — like Zohran Mamdani and Bernie Sanders.

Listen to what they had to say.

I know this art was picked cuz its GTA but boy howdy does it look like its suggesting a solution

MPA Rates ‘Zootopia 2’ PG-13 For Sexually Awakening Content WASHINGTON—Warning that the film might evoke certain feelings that audience members weren’t prepared to confront, the Motion Picture Association reportedly assigned Zootopia 2 a PG-13 rating Tuesday f...

MPA Rates ‘Zootopia 2’ PG-13 For Sexually Awakening Content

tech bro: i have made Artificial General Intelligence

programmer: you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did. look at it. it's got anxiety

Good election results, AND Dick Cheney died 🍾🥂

Did the thing~