Sometimes I think about becoming a lawyer and then I think it’s probably too hard and then I remember Kash Patel is a lawyer.

“If I could somehow get up in time to work out before work starts that would free up my evenings to watch more movies” - a real thing I said to my therapist today when discussing My Problems.

An hour long nap at 7pm may have been a tactical error.

Inject it into my fucking veins.

Yes that’s what WhatsApp needs.

Incredible main event. Best match of the weekend as main events should be. Felt like a WrestleMania match. Both guys looked great but Punk was the star of the show. Finally given the spot he’s been clamoring for for 20 years and he rose to the occasion. Sensational. #WrestleMania

Good for Paige, man. I loved her AEW run and the Wembley moment, but WWE is where she belongs. Glad she got it back.

Of course Trump thought he was a doctor in the AI Jesus photo. He’s never set foot in a church or read a book in his life, he has no idea what Jesus looks like.

Of course I got gas last night for $3.99 and then that orange tub of goo opened the Straight it Hormuz and oils prices tanked.

I barely know who Alex Cooper is and I do not know who Alex Earle is so I do not fully understand what is going on, but I do know for sure that if these women were brunettes this would not be happening.

If this is what the war in Iran was about then it may in fact have been worth it.

“The Pope should stick to issues of morality.”

Ok so war is not a moral issue then?

Totally ok with Rory McIlroy being two years younger than me. Doesn’t bother me at all. Not one bit.

Rory ❤️

Of course my CPAC Budapest tickets are non-refundable.

no one is doing it like jd vance, a loser across three continents in a single weekend

Can’t believe Mr. Charisma JD Vance couldn’t drag Orban over the line.

Regardless of if you believe the allegations against Eric Swalwell, one thing we can all agree on is a 40+ year old man texting a 21 year old girl “you on Snap?” is cringe beyond belief. He should drop out just for that.

I would argue anyone born after 1965 is disqualified. The next president needs to be Gen X or below.

I mean genuinely who the fuck is telling Rahm Emanuel this is a good idea? A 68 year-old, Zionist, scandal plagued mayor of Chicago whose central issue so far is abandoning trans kids. Not to mention single digit name ID. He has zero constituency among the party or the country.

Two people who have zero business running for president in 2028:

Kamala Harris
Rahm Emmanuel

I’m a 60 year old upper middle class small business owner from the suburbs of Chicago. I voted for Obama and Biden but not Hillary or Kamala. I support Israel, and the single biggest issue in my life is transgender bathrooms. I think the best candidate the Democrats have in 2028 is Rahm Emmanuel.

Imagine what would happen if Barack Obama had tweeted “praise be to Allah” on #Easter

I had no idea Pam Bondi was 60. I thought she was a very stressed 35. Credit where it’s due she has a phenomenal surgeon.

Last night I had a dream that my bisexual ex was dating a woman and in my dream I thought “you know what that’s fine.”

To say nothing of the fact that it is not the role of the executive branch to decide what’s constitutional lol

My god that’s Chris Jericho.

CHARACTER ACTOR: [badly beaten] john I respect you as a fellow samurai. take my kris. salaam aleikum john wick
JOHN WICK: [punches him unconscious in a way that makes clear he has left him alive, because of mutual respect]

There are no reports anywhere that he’s been signed by AEW. Even if he was, he’s free to take indie bookings when not being used. Guys will wrestle on Dynamite on Wednesday and then a local indie shows the next day. Wrestlers complaining about poor booking has never worked out for them.

Obama and Biden do not get enough credit for their picks for Supreme Court justices. All three women are just extremely impressive. #SCOTUS