every time my husband convinces me to watch an anime like Frieren I am sort of shocked how it occupies this complex cultural space of metatextual deconstructionist fantasy meanwhile on my patch of land we are using terms like Magic System and essentially throwing mud
I know I'm ageing because the last Magic: The Gathering table I played at *I* was the old guy yelling at clouds citing rules from 10 years ago, when did that happen 😭 "in my day unused mana damaged you" yes grandpa let's get you to bed
endlessly funny to me how avatar roku only really turns up to spin fire wheels at grown adults and say "GIVE THIS TWELVE YEAR OLD WHATEVER THEY WANT" and only when doing so would almost certainly be an catastrophically bad idea
people are like "oh so because you're reading a book outside your house you're better than me??" and well unfortunately yes
I am never more hot than when I'm reading a book in public and ignoring everyone and that is just a fact
occasionally I am gaslit into thinking I wrote something nonsensical but then I rally and remember all my critics are insane and also evil
I store every kind word about my books in a jar, and every so often I trade that jar in for slightly higher self esteem, and then start a new jar
canon event
the other day my husband opened the door and the delivery guy saw two men living together, visibly did the maths, said "good lord protect me", abandoned his entire pallet and RAN, and it was funny enough I'm not even that mad, I wonder if he went straight to a cathedral
Jesus: omg im lost in the desert wearing nothing but this flimsy robe I sure hope no-one tries to seduce me in the next, idk, forty days or so
I always thought it would be fun to write something so genre defining and oblique that studio ghibli insists on making a beautiful and broadly inaccurate adaptation of it which is more popular than the book ever was
I love it when books are called things like "Reaching For God's Hand: How the Greatest Opera House in All of Switzerland was Built" and the answer is "someone hired an architect and a builder. it was open 1991-1993. it is now a vape kiosk"
this is your privilege and your right as a reader, never relinquish it
what's quite funny is that when people ask "what did the ending mean" if I am feeling diplomatic I will say "what did you feel it meant, that's all that's important" but that is a lie because as the author I can confirm it's very possible to be completely and objectively wrong
it's the cover of Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil. there's a note underneath with a joke on it but it's quite wordy, not funny enough to repeat, and my fingers are tired
A page from Isabella Nagg "A Spell of Finding" which again is quite long and I promise you no-one else is reading it so you aren't missing out
a mostly blank page announcing an excerpt from The Devil and Mrs Gooch
It's US paperback day for Isabella Nagg and the Pot of Basil! My grotty, half-mad, confusing little fantasy novel which has led people to email me asking what the ending means, an element I will not be explaining because the book is in fact the explanation
repeating the same stupid joke every single day to my husband as if I stumbled across a greek god in the woods and they cursed me with eternal dumbassery
me too
is that your version of "👉👈 hunt me"
because it's not not working
(fear not huge dragon boy, I will hunt you. i do not discriminate)
I remember seeing a post like "carnivores don't tend to have horns, they're usually a defensive weapon for things lower down the food chain" and now I can't help but see those pictures of dragons with huge horns the same as 6ft 5" bottoms going 👉👈 hunt me
someone clearly hasn't read the Tolkien appendix where he talks about sauron's massive wang, which the elves call twinkslayer and the dwarves call groinhammer and which the orcs in their terror named ringbane
I think I actually read that one, isn't it the 80s pulp disaster with the 50 foot anus
nice try but you can't fool me that easily, I know men can't read
my schedule is erratic, things in the UK are a bit delayed, but if you find myself in my neck of the woods let me knoww I may be around
when one of your friends starts posting nudes again and you're like omg they were clearly in a depression slump for months and you didn't even notice but you can't say that so instead you say hey your ass looks great and hope that they intuit a fraternal spirit from it
goats occupy a higher sphere of bastardry I can only aspire to
so yesterday someone says the words "horse manacles" to me and I piss myself laughing because what do you mean horse manacles horses don't have hands are you sending them to horse jail how is it possible for you to be this stupid but turns out they are real and I'm still furious
play your cards right and I'll show you 👍
ah he earned it the hard way
