new yorker headline: THIS EASTER, AN AMERICAN POPE CONFRONTS AN AMERICAN WAR

*movie trailer guy voice*

OK, so it’s official from the President of the United States when someone you don’t like dies it’s OK to say “I’m glad he’s dead” we got it in writing folks

Quick question does anyone know how to restore virtue to a decaying society

you think you've seen the whole movie, and then the alt text reveals you haven't even finished act two

This is how you live a life

i feel like the viral bus thread resonates because at every step of the way you're like "ok surely this will be resolved shortly, any second now," which seems like what all the passengers are also thinking. then the fact that the situation doesn't resolve and the bus just keeps going is an Allegory

your very existence is troubling, enraging, and distracting as hell for some of the shittiest people on earth so no, i’m afraid you may not kill yourself rn

Being a musician in 2026 is crazy because I'm watching a movie set in 1989 where they got paid $700 for a gig and it was supposed to be a tiny amount, and I thought "i mean thats sadly a lot!" and checked the inflation and it would actually be $2k now lol we live in hell

So much of American history is just impulsive and extremely stupid elites, who don't believe in consequences because they have never personally experienced them, doing highly consequential stuff because they're bored or believe it might make them richer. I guess a lot of our culture, too.

living in this country is like being awake on the table

it is a little disconcerting that none of the people in charge of anything right now seem to know how to do it. like, if you were on a bus and the driver started whipping around all crazy and yelling about how buses don’t need wheels you’d probably be like, hey. this guy shouldn’t be driving the bus

One of the most disappointing things of the moment is how many people refuse to believe their eyes for whatever reason they have opted to do so.

NANCY IS HAVING A BAD DREAM IN HER DREAM WE SEE A PEACOCK WITH ITS FEATHERS IN MULTIPLE COLORS AND THERE IS WRITTEN IN THE DREAM THIS NIGHTMARE WILL BE IN FULL COLOR

THIS NIGHTMARE WILL
BE IN FULL COLOR

The death of browsing is part of the reason art is the way it is now. Our opinions are largely fed to us by algorithms. Spending a spare 15 minutes wandering around a bookstore or comic shop or video rental place was how you found stuff you wouldn't ordinarily pick up and thereby expanded your taste

It is very funny that this Pope is just going to get jerseys from now on. Everyone decided that's what this Pope likes and that is it. It's like if your grandmother got you a puzzle for Christmas one year and you said you liked it so your entire extended family is like "oh that's the puzzle kid"

What the hell is the wayside, and why does so much shit fall by it and whatnot?

im sorry you cant have food but we gave all our money to one guy who “invented” 2 day shipping and another thats promising robot butlers so you can see how our hands are tied

dental insurance: we only exist to make regular health insurance seem better™

You should sever any relationship, including a close friendship, with someone who is rude to waitstaff.

I've thought a lot about the scene in A Clockwork Orange where Alex finds out that the droogs he used to rampage with are now policemen

of all the dumb shit that sucks these days, the dumbest and pettiest shit that sucks is the way people fetishize debate. i would like to revert to the old roughly agreed-upon cultural understanding that debate club is for boring friendless nerds

What a weird-ass Rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.

Me: what’s the most effective and simple move in a fight

BONG JOON HO, LOUDLY: gotta be the two foot drop kick out of nowhere

“This is not normal” is a weird thing to say about things that keep happening over and over again with zero pushback

If a thing keeps happening and nobody does anything about it, I’d call that normal

enshittification | noun | when a digital platform is made worse for users, in order to increase profits

my father-in-law is a “I know a guy” Guy. sadly all the old Guys are aging out of the Guy Economy. Guys are fundamentally incompatible with Hustle Culture because it’s not about “winning” a deal, it’s about collecting favors and goodwill in a mutually-beneficial cycle. protect your local Guy Economy

I'm not right wing but some of this "woke" stuff is a little over the top [6 months later] Slavery was fine. Your city is under martial law

can i explain the gap on my resume? uh okay…thought this was obvious but that was when i didn’t have a job. you okay man