a group of transgender prostitutes chosen at random would produce the best government this nation has had since Roosevelt

hey babe I know I just saw this even though you posted it a month ago but why are they 5 foot 2

I think I said it in the scouting report I wrote up in January: if you get 2023 Carson Beck, there's meat on the bone. if you get 2024-25 Carson Beck, you are getting premium buttcheeks. either way, he's taking a several million dollar paycut next year, so good luck!

oh hell yeah that's the kind of spirit I like to see

that bluecheck pay must be cheap as hell. Elon probably has them working in the chudpost mines for a McChicken a month

"record 2 career sacks and quietly retire before his 25th birthday" great way to describe my college experience

feel like this is more the equivalent of some obnoxious tourist bringing Pope Leo a Minnesota Twins jersey than it is an actual championship celebration. them girls got finals to not do

getting shipped out to some random wooded area in Greenvile, North Carolina so I can get turnt off the Mr. Beast Feastables beef jerky

watching the Dan Olson video on the Mr. Beast games review invite and unfortunately the thing kicking around in my head is hoping he actually does follow through on giving $100 million to East Carolina to buy a national title

I say this as someone who would find the loss of the amount of money I paid for a flight catastrophic: just fuckin get to the airport early and have a nice sit for an hour.

dispatches from my mother: "ice cream and wine makes you mighty fine"

bait used to be good

she also stated afterwards that she wanted to end hunger all around the world

"yeah the transmission has blown up after 40k miles. no, you can't get to it easy. yes, the engine has to be on and we have to service it with $500 proprietary software you have to pay the manufacturer to use to change the oil. check out this apple carplay"

watching car mechanics on YouTube is fascinating because you have $70k pickups which theoretically shouldn't have to worry about room packaging their basic utilities (oil dipstick, transmission dipstick, stuff like timing belts) like it's a Lotus.

on the other hand, you absolutely can make it with just two pairs of jeans and those *are* a pain to pack efficiently

underwear and socks are like, the two things you can pack 100 of and it's fine. if real life were an rpg then underwear would have a 0 for weight

"degenerative physical and mental health conditions have come to a head this week w/no insurance. my dysphoria is as bad as it's ever been. Hamburger Helper with croissants in a slop bowl."

on the bright side, living through this many "it would sound ludicrously hellish to have someone live like this" events all at once has given me a lot of good material should I ever decide to do an r/kitchencels post

ah hell nah, I joined the US military and all I got was this block of sodium-as-a-metal meat

to be honest I think most college towns would be disqualified based on hotel space alone. basically leaves Columbus and Austin as the only real competitors in this space, neither of which are college towns

a fun question to ask yourself: what is the lowest profile American city that could host the Olympics and it turn out okay? because I think you could host the Olympics in Milwaukee or Hartford and it would be essentially fine

it's okay: everyone in washington told me to always call it safeco field even though it's t-mobile park. i still struggle to not call the titans stadium adelphia coliseum

up there with felines in terms of optimization of what they were designed to do

my nervous system is so bad that I could take all of these and all I'd probably feel is "huh, so that's what it's like to not have to wear sunglasses inside"

a Protestant Republican from Louisiana telling an American Pope that he hasn't heard of St. Augustine sounds like the setup to the most off-color joke anyone could think of during the Truman administration

they used to say that a tie is like kissing your sister. I'm not sure what four would be like, but I don't want to find out

ties from the 20s and 30s are weird because a lot of times, they're handled as if they game didn't happen. 1933 Minnesota was a Big Ten co-champ despite only winning two conference games because they tied at 1.000 win% with Michigan, who won five conference games and the national title that year

none of these are really conveying the same idea without further clarification or verbiage, and at that point, they sound too antiseptic to convey the same message

these are stupid and ugly suffixes, but at least can be shown to be contributing Something to the language. on the other hand, I've seen many people try to "reclaim" the r-word, and that's just far uglier and more nihilistic given how many words for "not that bright" exist