anybody ever tried "bread"? I think it's some kind of potato substitute? I had some the other day and it wasn't that bad

ME: i just saw a girl sitting on a tuffet eating curds

WIFE: no way

ME: no just curds

Laptop keyboard, the key caps of the Ctrl key and S key are mostly rubbed off

possible i'm a compulsive saver

i've been off of bluesky for a long while because having a live feed of the state of the world became too painful, but as i speak i'm sitting through a new recurring all-hands departmental meeting at work, and suddenly bluesky doesn't seem so bad

and now we know you're a time traveler from 10 years in the future

is your ios or android program suffering from unsightly eczema or painful burns? our clinic can help, you just need an app ointment

so awesome that nyc democrats didn't vote for the guy widely known to be a piece of shit! Assuming zohran wins the general election, the city 100% deserves to revel in its short break before (if history of NYC mayors is any guide) he also turns out to be a piece of shit

"here, grab my hand, instead of the big easy holds on this wall"

a frame from an ad for Vanguard investments, showing one bouldering rock climber reaching down to help another one up a wall apparently

if they are going to target ads to people who watch rock climbing videos, maybe they should consult a rock climber? (extra crazy points for insane help-someone-behind-you-on-the-bouldering-wall lady wearing a harness)

should public transit be free? i'm not sure but i think this question should be asked in the same breath as "should roads for private cars be free?"

i think maybe "log off" is a euphonism for pooping?

billy joel has such beautiful symmetry to his productive career years: he famously dislikes "piano man", and every other human on earth famously dislikes "we didn't start the fire"

I get bubblegum flavor and yeah same

they are called "pancakes" because they are cooked in pans, but all cakes are cooked in pans

ha! no. they will all be eight-digit codes by then

Balatro game over screen

let's go #balatro #unseeded

i actually think it's possible that a lot of people who were famous for work in the 1950s or 1960s might end up dying

Ad depicting man blorping a spiral of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing onto a pizza

god is dead

in spanish-speaking countries there are 6.02 x 10^23 avocados per lawyer

lyc and share

everybody has a hungry heart and i've got hungry eyes and now my heart and my eyes are fighting over the leftover meatloaf

you dodged a bullet there, at that age mine was all "it's not my job to educate you"

r.i.p. (ruptured in pillow)

it's all so reminiscent of the immortal Lincoln-Douglas ragetweets

FedEx logo, with the hidden arrow highlighted in yellow, but not really because this post is meant to be humorous somehow

did you the negative space in the fedex logo hides a secret arrow? highlighted in yellow here:

ngl feeling a little guilty now for my plan to have a criminal-hispanics-meat sandwich

yeah they had it coming

five thousand years from now, future archeologists will pinpoint THIS post as a sole cause of the global warming apocalypse that destroyed the sino-european civilization

(A devil approaches after my first 111 years in hell)

DEVIL: OK, contrary to what you may have heard, your torment isn't necessarily eternal. It's time to re-evaluate and see if you've learned anything. The format will be just like a corporate job interview from Earth.

ME: um I'm good here thanks

there's not a vas deferens between the two