the stress of this + misc rl stuff is like. fucking with my health terribly as if that wasn't all bad enough. i want out

i'm looking into shit to train so i can try to get a better job but it's just. hard as fuck when i leave the workday completely mentally gutter. my brain is not open to new info rn. but if i don't do this then i'm stuck here until i die or they fire me

Several Months ongoing issue of not having any stock because pharmaceutical companies are fucking clowns and it was supposed to be resolved soon and it wasn't. so now it's just like this for the foreseeable future. cool

13 an hour to get told i am personally responsible for people's suffering for shit that is entirely out of my control and then i check staff chat and i am getting yelled at for the company-provided remote desktop being slow to load in the morning. okay.

dog my job is killing me

i think ur completely within ur right i think bc at worst it was intentional and at best, like u said, they're in the hands of a really shit artist. ofc i get it if u don't want to but i don't think u should feel bad abt it if u do

tiny dog laying there

feel like i have to delete all my ocs and also never speak to anyone again. monday night baby

i cannot apply to other jobs enough i need out of here so bad

sorry i thought i felt better but i still feel rlly gross. esp upon talking with my manager and finding out this is a pattern with this specific guy. okay so we just let him keep doing this

no it's cool i love getting personally blamed for people's deaths every day and now sexually harassed. at my job that pays 13 an hour

there's obviously not a magical job that would solve my problems but it'd do a lot for my mental health to make a few more dollars an hour and not have people directly in my ear arguing with me about stupid shit 8 hrs a day

i guess the answer is probably go back to college and hope for the best but that's a lot of moneyyy

how to make a career change away from fucking call centers when i have no skills or useful education or abilities and i'm very disabled put into my search bar 1000 times in the hopes one of them will give me an answer

this took like 5 attempts to write i have to just go to bed

i keep trying to use my phone when i'm Mostly asleep and then dropping it on my face i have to stop

mind you i appreciate her greatly for doing the research for me and i'm not mad at her abt it all i'm just like . jesus christ this is a lot to take in and i don't have the mental fortitude for it

about to have to go into an extremely evil work week and my wife has entered the research mines and dropped incredibly upsetting information about my family onto my lap

the place i work at is like that too... smth abt specialty meds means you gotta go thru 500 saw traps to get them it's so fucked

maybe i should be a little more considerate tho i just remembered my rib cage and chest hurt crazy bad last night. and i remembered that bc it just started hurting now

my lack of respect for the fact that my body has more limitations than most is Going to bite me in the ass really bad but i feel so fucking antsy and i'm going to keep feeling that way until we're fully moved

(girl who is trying to not freak out) i have a lot of things . to do

please play lonesome road . for me

i can't wait to get the fuck out of herreeeeee but we have to move slow for misc reasons... we'll get there

we got our keys to the apt today... we have many things to do but soon. we will be there.

i'm going to have to fucking Move House while on my period first which is evil. but then i'm free

dreaming of my post-move computer setup when i will be able to do my job and play video games without experiencing infinite torture loop in my body

being too dehydrated to cry bc i got sick is crazy i need to fix that

can't draw can't write solo can't rp with my wife or my friends like i've been wanting to. all i can do is hope once we're settled in the new place it'll come back to me because whaaaat the fuck i'm so sad

i have a couple wips ive been poking at here and there but in general i think the combo life/work stress of the past few months have just totally killed my creative drive outside of designing women in xiv, which is more like building a custom lego set to me in terms of brain usage

made myself really sad thinking abt how the ability to draw has just been like. sucked out of me