With great power comes great responsibility. Luckily, Gary was a middle manager and didn’t have great power. He ordered another lunch box.

I like the dandelions but it’s the hidden rocks and tiny oak trees that get me

Recaffeinated and gaining momentum. Gary sets out to care for the lawn that doesn’t give a care for him.

there’s no winning answer 😫

And peanut butter m&ms

Yeah, that’s exactly what I meant. A good face hugging face hugger exposing a lovely bright eye

saying “not all men” whenever someone tries complimenting a man

Not to brag, but I am a jaywalking beast. I will challenge your preconceived notions on who has the right of way

You’re very good at that and do it better than most

using the leftover extra virgin olive oil from my roasted veggies as chapstick

I didn’t even know such a level of coolness was achievable by mortals

Holy hell. It now seems Gary needs to spend more time at the gym working out on a machine that simulates a lawnmower pull-start.

Schroedinger's Strait

me: my exercise teacher just said “make sure your torso is above your pelvis” duh where else would it be

picasso: uh,,,,

soon i’ll be at a kid’s bday party snorting rails of pixy stix off the ass of chuck e cheese

sorry I haven’t been online lately been trying to open this childproof cap

No I will not "clean" my "shower." My shower can clean itself when I do, or not at all. I'm not making a separate trip.

I never learn

👏

At the punk show clapping politely and hoping no one spills my $10 beer

Wearing a 2021 NBA Finals cap during a thunderstorm because Gary knew electricity, and therefore lighting, brought back to life a broken heart

someone just walked into this dispensary wearing so much cologne it doesn’t smell like weed in here anymore

Lucky

post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet (if you feel like it):

Gary’s best boy and partner in crime. You ain’t seen Bad Boys II?

May the force be with you

In preparation for this afternoon’s severe weather, Gary anchors his lawn furniture with all the final documents due today.

Mmmm. Microplastics and PFAS with a little touch of good old fashioned PCBs that I found in the back of the cupboard

I do not. Amazing the stuff that existed in my lifetime that I have no idea about

the muppets (2011) fundamentally broke part of me /pos

I’d rather stay home and do lines of Girl Scout cookies