My fiance asked me if I could do my dishes and I said I’m decentering men rn

4.99 for store brand rolled oats? What’s that if not charity for this business

Why are u asking me at the grocery checkout if I want to donate to help end hunger in the community. What do you think I’m doing right now

Well I would but my one and only doctor I’ve seen since I was a preteen notably, famously died and I’m not ready to start a new therapeutic relationship with someone else

Ginger would be great for nausea if it didn’t taste so bad that I threw up the second it touched my tongue

Did watching Justin beiber YouTube videos in2009 infect these people with some kind of parasitic curse like in the Ring or something

He’s gonna have to really prove he’s capable of the job. I’m not so sure they’re biologically capable

Men don’t seek positions of power and authority unless they want to use them to abuse women and children. They are simply the weaker sex and not fit to hold office

I will also not be going on hasan pikers stream

I’ll keep the parts that make sense and change the parts that suck

There’s time for him to be scapegoated dw

Dgaf I like the cut of his jib

We’ve been needing a “fuck you, try me” candidate

Not with that attitude

Yassss!

One thing we should all be taking away from this is “who’s gonna stop me”

People saying mamdani can’t run for president he wasn’t born here as if we don’t have the fakest most illegal administration in history

Asked my doctor if I could just get a small dose of ozempic to take the edge off and he said to take my ass to the gym

Oh ok yeah

Reading the seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo caused my relapse…triggers are so real yall

Lois griffin trying not to relapse on a bottle of pills

If I DID believe Taylor swift was a closet case (evil bisexual)and I DID believe Travis kelce was in a secret relationship with his best friend slash assistant Ross Travis then I would be going nuts over the Elizabeth Taylor comparisons but I’m at least 2 years sober of gaylorism

The salt is supposed to prevent sticking but it doesn’t always work that way 🙂‍↕️

We all know how to sear a steak right APPARENTLY NOT

Everyone’s talking about this

Do you guys know about the casino butter steak stone zip sauce on here or is this a twitter only phenomenon

People underestimate how healing it can be to be a huge bitch to everyone. Chappel roan knows this

Jack in the box operates in a unique fast food niche where it’s like the place dad picks for food on a road trip bc he’s tired of you fighting with your siblings over Taco Bell or McDonalds and he likes 1 random thing on the menu and he’s also kind of punishing you

They’re airing you guys out on the everything app

Knock Knock (2015)

He would rue the day