Medical questionnaire: Are you sexually active?

Me, shouting to my husband in the other room:
hey, this form is asking if I’m sexually active.

We both laugh.

Then cry.

I had no idea egos could suffer from internal bleeding

Do it. The experience and caffeination are just a bonus at that point.

It took a few days but:
BEHOLD: The power of shopping…
(It wasn’t bad, I think I cooked it too long and missed the foam but still pretty tasty!)

i know we're all busy but i just overheard a plumber say "parlez-vous français ? non ? you motherfuckers don't even speak french, do you" to a pair of french bulldogs

Sesame Street never prepared me for any of this

"the food is terrible, but you should see the portions"

– people staying on twitter

No kidding - huh.
Well, my grinder won’t do it that finely but I have a mortar and pestle… s’pose that would work?
Perhaps we’ll see a miracle today after all.

I think it has something to do with heating it in sand?

I know I could find a video but … if he’s not too busy with rapturing folks, I tend to learn better with hands on explanations.

Since he’s middle eastern do you think he can make a good turkish style coffee?

If he stops by ask him for me.

(I was gifted a pot to make turkish coffee about 20 years ago but have no idea how to use it.)

Because Jerry finds us

puke and rally, but it’s just you reading the news, throwing up and trying to find the will to keep going

Hunger games: but every cycle the top richest people are chosen to be a feast for the poorest. Their wealth then evenly distributed to areas of need.

I guarantee wealth accumulation would not be coveted so fanatically.

Taking care of my mental health by lowering my expectations to zero.

Spread too thin to feel this fat.

reverse advent calendar where I scream a little scream into each tiny box and close it up tight

a woman wearing sunglasses and a fur coat is standing on a street . ALT: a woman wearing sunglasses and a fur coat is standing on a street .

But….
I don’t WANNA go to the parents meeting and hafta play with the other moms.

David Byrne: Tiny Desk Concert In matching, brilliant blue suits, David Byrne and his band squeeze behind the Desk to perform four songs, including Talking Heads' "Life During Wartime."

In matching, brilliant blue suits, David Byrne and his band squeeze behind the Desk to perform four songs, including Talking Heads' "Life During Wartime." n.pr/4pFYoun

Life is weird.

Then it’s really weird.

Then you’re too tired to care.

a woman in a red off the shoulder top is holding a piece of paper with the letters ii & ii on it ALT: a woman in a red off the shoulder top is holding a piece of paper with the letters ii & ii on it

Damn, I could really use that tho sometimes.

Can you imagine if they made schoolhouse rock videos about how government works now

Haha, yeah right, “ believe women”.
What’s next, paying them equal wages, trusting them to make decisions regarding their own bodies, or just treating them as societal equals worthy of existing for *more than their ability to make men happy?

Was that a course record at least?

Sometimes I'll sit and contemplate the meaning of life and other times I'll wonder if the plural of manatee is 'manatees' or 'menatee'

In an ideal world, the Antichrist and the President of the United States would be two different people

who up making false promises to themselves tomorrow morning

Damn, guess I gotta pick a new starting word again…

Listen to more Nina Simone.

divergentcoachkelly on Threads * 2h ADHD is knowing exactly what you need to do then watching yourself not do it like you're a scientist observing a very dumb experiment

10/10 take. No notes.