ok but did jesus see his shadow today or not

01/25 9:45AM
Border Patrol is out in Los Angeles, sightings in Echo Park/ Silverlake and South Central.
Please stay alert, get vulnerable people inside. Record everything and be safe.

Can't wait for three vindictive ghosts to tell me I'm a huge piece of shit tonight👍🏿

Jake Paul getting knocked out by a black man while wearing Hulk Hogan attire? Poetic Justice 💀✊🏿

neither I nor the devil care what month it is, I’m beatin my shit

Imagine telling people we’re beefing and I’m at home freestyling a diss track about myself set to the Pattycake scene in Welcome To Derry’s second episode

This is easy 🥱

“Least I don’t have a face like a pig’s ass, like MOST of these bastards.” - Horatio, the clerk in Van Horn who is rumored to be a dracula.

He most definitely probably is.

RIP in peace, George Foreman, you would have loved Foreman Grills

Need to be six beers deep in a spirit Halloween

I’m like if my mother and father unfortunately had a baby together

Petty 🤣

enemies to lovers but it’s me and myself

Be good and good will follow. Yeah ok. 😒

Recognizing your mistakes after you make them is good, recognizing them AS you make them is g̶o̶o̶d̶e̶r̶ better.

lmao hunting a whale for your whole life and never catching it couldn’t be me

#MemorialDay or whatever

#nottowayplantation

Locals who live in a town whose economy is entirely based on tourism when they see a tourist:

Hating women and then being angry that they hate you back is weird af.

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn't know how good I had it.

If you ain’t trying to get your ass whooped this weekend at #WrestleMania  then watch how you fuckin talk to me

You’re in her DMs.

I’m behind her in the mirror in a dilapidated mansion and when she turned around, I was gone.

We are not the same.

Bad…dog?

RIP George Foreman, you would have loved Foreman Grills 🙏🏿

🥰🥰

Then let’s make history. 🥂 ❤️

We always said we go down together. What better first AND last date than a public execution?