Pistachio because why would they do thisssss?! 😩

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Every time they see my girl’s tour announcements.

Immediately!!

a happy tuesday greeting with lucas & friends ALT: a happy tuesday greeting with lucas & friends

Good morning! May your day be filled with sunshine, blessings, and joy. And don’t forget to make your bed. 😊

There’s only two beneficiaries:

Palantir
The Trump Regime

There’s only two beneficiaries:

Palantir
The Trump Regime

And if you live in Virginia, #VoteYesVirginia

The Onion Comedy Club brought to you by Infowars 😂

Election “denier” Jeffrey Clark to raise right hand & testify 👀

Orban/Hungarian Govt invested in CPAC and American Politicians? (allegedly) 😳

Clown Decorator & Politician
Wars won: 420
Wars started: Too many

Hey people from the great state of Virginia! Pass the word…

TOMORROW Virginia can STOP TRUMP from rigging the November Midterms! #VoteYesVirginia for free and fair elections! MAKE YOUR PLAN AND VOTE!

The Onion Has a New Plan to Take Over Infowars

Here's how we're taking over InfoWars.

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The Onion, entering the Infowars studio to check out the equipment used by Alex Jones…

Same. When you got all your docs, it’s a breeze.

they feeding the soldiers the same shit they feed ppl being detained …

Meanwhile…

JD Vance, Who Converted to Catholicism as an Adult, Advises Pope Leo to ‘Stick to Matters of Morality’ Vice President JD Vance discussed his views on Pope Leo XIV's role in morality and policy, addressing recent comments by President Trump.

COVID-19 has been a thing longer than JD Vance has been a 'Catholic'.

people.com/jd-vance-adv...

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JD Vance has failed on everything he touches. Maybe he should stick to couch selections instead of attempting to advise Pope Leo.

Meanwhile, the American Pope🔥

Democratic Senator Raphael Warnock on passing a war powers resolution:

"We are calling on our Republican colleagues to stand up and do their job. The American people are clear, they do not want this war, and it's up to us to hold this unhinged, unaccountable president accountable."

Door Dash Darlene strikes again!

Alligator Alcatraz phones were cut off. Then the beatings began, court docs say Attorneys say the Trump and DeSantis administrations are disregarding a court order requiring access to phones and attorneys for detainees.

The Constitution and a court order both say that the Everglades detention facility must allow people access to their attorneys.

Instead of complying, guards are cutting off people’s phone access and beating people who speak up.

I thought Alligator Alcatraz was closed.

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😩😭

Now on stage, Blue Cheese Financially Irresponsible!

Coming up next, Zesty Italian, but don’t say she’s lazy… she’s got three degrees!

IRAN SENDS TOP LEADERS AND POLITICAL ADVISORS TO PAKISTAN FOR THE PEACE TALKS!
70 strategists in total!

AMERICA sent Vance & his wife, Witkoff, a real estate broker, and Kushner, his son in law, a stock broker!!
NONE EXPERIENCED IN STRATEGIC WAR NEGOTIATIONS!

Talk about fodder for the lions!

#Splashdown! Welcome Home #Artemis! Congratulations to the crew and everyone at NASA. You’ve given us so much to be happy about over the past 10 days! 🇺🇸 🇨🇦 🚀

Welcome Home, Integrity. For the Orion/Artemis spacecraft mission around the moon and back April 2026.

Moon joy, Earth joy. Welcome home, Integrity! #artemisII #splashdown #houstonintegrity #art

The Biden Administration would have upheld what took the Obama Administration, 4 years to broker. The #IsraeliTrumpRegime… WTactualH is happening!?

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And I Oop?! 🙂‍↔️

As a Taurus, I would agree. I’m also honored to know that we’re not on that type of time… according to this list.

Ahem… Is this mic on?🎙️
Pete Kegsbreath come to the front of the auditorium re Trump’s Conflict.

All the Generals, at ease.. Hell take the next “two weeks” off.