my brain is a machine that turns unimagined sex moves into imagined sex moves

IF YOU DON'T LIKE UNCLE GRANDPA THEN FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

sorry I wasn't around for a while guys I discovered this new hobby called "go fucking myself"

if the elements of harmony from mlp were real I would be the element of being fucking ugly and stupid

genuinely if you're not transgender then get the fuck out of my sight

you can tell how unhealthy the local queer scene is by how many people listen to the fucking mountain goats

is it gay for your friend to say "I'm completely in love with you" and then you say "yeah. I'm in love with you too"

haha sorry guys I'm a little tipsy, I had a few swigs of Groklorr The Firesworn's legendary mead

fun fact: did you know that every day I die and am then born again?

No, we cannot meet up. I live in star wars and am incapable of visiting the real world

"I fear that I may drain every one of the beautiful rivers in equestria with my thirst" (new catchphrase guys what do you think)

I'm not fucking joking this really happened!!!!! DO NOT FUCKING LAUGH AT ME!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm an ace contestant on the hit new reality show "Is The Bread Still Good"

*kicks one of the batmobile's tires* this'll give YOU a kick in the pants, caped crusader!
*sticks a piece of gum on the left tail light* oh, but don't dry those years yet, momma's bat- I'm FAR from done with you!
*throws an empty plastic bottle at the windshield*

stick em up this is a breakdown

doing the "I don't remember if I took my meds" dance

the T in James T. Kirk stands for Tdick

it was such a beautiful reflection on what star trek is like conceptually. all the aspects of the series' identity are explored and challenged and celebrated in such a gorgeous way

dude I just saw that first star trek movie from 1979 and it is somehow even better than I thought it would be

I need all yall that dont speak spanish to learn a few words, real quick.

pls RT

"La Migra" - common slang for ICE

"La Patrulla" - "The Patrol"

"No digas nada" - "Say nothing."

¿Cómo te llamas? - "Whats your name?"

"¿Quién quieres que llame?" - "Who do you want me to call?"

Escondense - Hide

it is! it's a totally real thing and it made people sick oh and yes Scott Adams is dead

perhaps dilbert (iconic mascot of the Dilberito™) will also die

an ad for the dilberito. it's a dilbert style burrito. it's got a picture of dilbert on the box and every letter in the word "dilberito" is in a different font and color. it says "Introducing the spicy Mexican DILBERITO(tm)" and "new improved flavor" and contains 100 percent of your daily vitamins

Scott Adams, creator of the dilberito, has died at age 68

yeah, you should try it sometime

your fave can help this account ratio the Democratic Party- please give generously

I wish all cis people a very you would be more useful as a living battery

not only do I post fucked up nonsense, but I also have FANTASTIC tits and am a boy

he served for our country

I make posts like "Marge Simpson has 1000 springtrap pushes in her room" and everyone LOVES it, but then I get too excited and turn around and say something stupid like "I'M UNCLE SNURK!!!" and then it's back to the torture chamber again