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Posts by Ben Clarkson

I'm a vicar in a small rural village. I could never say this to my flock because of the outcry, but Reform are blatantly opposed to genuine Christian values and it's clear that anyone considering voting for them has not been listening to a single word I say each week

1 month ago 1367 185 122 16

This should be an Olympic sport.

1 month ago 0 0 0 0
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a man with the letter h on his head ALT: a man with the letter h on his head

Underage? You can't have been a full member of the golf course, then!

1 month ago 0 0 0 0
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a cat is sitting on a couch with its mouth open and making a surprised face . ALT: a cat is sitting on a couch with its mouth open and making a surprised face .
2 months ago 0 0 1 0

I once had a temp have a similar "personal item" delivered to the office after she'd finished working for us. Due to the nature of her role the package was assumed to be work supplies. Fair play, though: she returned to claim her parcel!

2 months ago 0 0 1 0

Just wait until they find out what the gingerbread man is.

2 months ago 1 0 0 0
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Absolutely brilliant match at @lc-lionesses.bsky.social today, with the cherry on top of a 4-2 win being Linari and Goodwin signing balls for the kids... Issy picked my youngest, at her first match, out in the crowd for hers and made a point of coming over. Once a Blade, always a Blade!

5 months ago 0 0 0 0
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a man with long hair and a beard has the words blue is coming on his face ALT: a man with long hair and a beard has the words blue is coming on his face
5 months ago 0 0 1 0
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Finally got a fess published! @datakilljoy.bsky.social

5 months ago 1 0 1 0

On my dog walk I often chat with right wingers. I pretend I am an ex-Reform voter put off by the utter fuck up of our county council. Then they see me as one of their own, don't get defensive and shouty, and start to question their own opinion of Reform. Honey, not vinegar.

5 months ago 1786 153 34 13

I don't think my poor brain could cope with correct grammar... The absurd seemed more likely!

6 months ago 0 0 0 0

Oh that's not nearly as fun

6 months ago 0 0 1 0

Both tyres? I think your "car" may be a motorcycle.

6 months ago 1 0 2 0

My wedding has gone down in legend for the serving of takeaway curry and pizza. Pizza naan, anyone?

6 months ago 0 0 0 0

Living funerals are a thing. Probably hilarious having everyone try and say nice things about you as if you're dead, while you're sat there with them!

6 months ago 5 0 0 0
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a black and white photo of a woman with the words you have your mother 's eyes . ALT: a black and white photo of a woman with the words you have your mother 's eyes .
7 months ago 0 0 0 0

Leave him? I think you need to get him locked up!

7 months ago 0 0 0 0

Sounds a bit like how my train app wishes me "Congratulations! You're going to London Terminals" when I buy my monthly commuter's season ticket.

7 months ago 2 0 0 0
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This is incredible! @lewisgoodall.com surely the finest journalist of his generation and here is further proof.

The secret court that silenced The News Agents...until now www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0FGK17S7...

9 months ago 1 0 0 0

I just have a sign on my pannier with the camera road sign image on it. Much cheaper than a camera but it tends to discourage people from driving too close.

9 months ago 2 0 0 0

I read a job application tonight that stated, "I hereby declare that I have read and understood the job description in full". It's a shame I'm not recruiting for a Town Crier, really.

9 months ago 0 0 0 0

Going to school in Bexleyheath in the mid-late 90s, and being a geek, wasn't fun. But being there today, the bar that was popular with all the Trendies is now a geek shop!

Feels like we won, just like Jarvis Cocker said we would.

9 months ago 0 0 1 0

I used this trick to get my eldest to change his nappy ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

9 months ago 0 0 0 0

Whoosh

10 months ago 0 0 0 0

Expect your wife will shortly ditch you for a like-for-like replacement, same style, colour etc.

10 months ago 2 0 0 0
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(and honestly I don't know why I don't sit and eat by breakfast there more often! A great start to the week).

10 months ago 0 0 0 0

Both parts of Leading with Ed Miliband are fascinating, but his passion for the climate agenda shines through in this. A perfect antidote to populists' cynical negativity. So good I had to stop and eat by breakfast by the lake in St. James' Park to keep listening. #NetZero

10 months ago 1 0 1 0

I don't think I've celebrated a goal like I celebrated that one. Such a sweet hit. Hugging my boy, who had his first experience of "limbs", as well as complete strangers. VAR ruined it. I knew at that moment we'd lose.

10 months ago 4 0 0 0
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Who would be a Sheffield United fan, eh? Officially bad for your health, giving me an abnormal heart rate alert! #BSkyBlades

10 months ago 6 0 2 0

Congratulations to Crystal Palace. A phenomenal performance and result. And most of all, well done to the legend that is Dean Henderson!

DEANO! DEANO! DEANO!

#FACup
#CrystalPalace

11 months ago 3 0 0 0