Sometimes I get phantom smells because my sense of smell is so bad, It's usually not what you'd expect though they are like smell hallucinations and it'll be things like;
Rubber
Alcohol
Latex
Gasoline
Mint
Pickle Brine
Banana Peel
Leather
Chlorine Pool Smell
random stuff like this
some doodles I did for a friend a while back
I had a ton of scares with my laptop today and my cortisol was through the roof but i'm sitting here now and it works and I can only hope it'll work tomorrow in the morning
I started to do one of these too muahaha
I did the completion, I am excited for the full game
I don't want to be a burden or make anything difficult for anyone, It's just worrying for me
there's a level of guilt I feel trying to use my Japanese in non-learning spaces, like I'm just a hinderance or awkward to interact with because I don't speak well. I think at this point the anxiety of that feeling is stronger than any anxiety I have for speaking in the first place.
When I say for the worse I mean acting out to get a laugh, or acting strangely or rudely around the opposite sex, or those kinds of people who want to act secretive about things everyone was just talking about even though the topic was not sensitive at all just to mae the person feel outcasted
This whole thread I forgot to mention immature people suddenly change personalities for the worse when around certain people or kinds of people. Those people still have some growing to do so I think I'm comfortable not getting too close
Bravely Default HD just shadowdropped on steam so I will be playing that
Okay after playing more deadlock I finally got put into a rank I think fits me better ( I was ranked WAY too highly before ) and also I really like playing Victor a lot
I want to work on not feeling so frustrated at myself for feeling so stupid
this OS is so bad dude
Also.. ive been doing some tabletop rpg stuff lately and I actually quite enjoy it but wow im so bad at the roleplaying part, its kinda embarrassing just playing a character in that way.
Those last drawings I did made me think it is really fun making quick little doodles of some cute guys for concepts, game characters really can just be cute little guys...
If I have too much joy sometimes I get a headache, too much smiling, laughing, or I guess happy chemicals. Headache.
doodled this guy in a drawpile
And even if the control scheme is uncomfortable for some I have to admit its a really creative control scheme for the system it was made for
But that's I think the only bad thing people even say about it, If that game got an updated port onto a platform with a more comfortable control scheme would it suddenly be a near perfect game then?
I say I have small hands only because the game was known for being "uncomfortable" controls wise but I never really felt uncomfy somehow
I mean I like a lot of RPGs on the 3DS a lot like Bravely Default, SMTIV, or Fire Emblem Awakening. But if I had to choose a non RPG it'd probably be Kid Icarus Uprising, That game is so charming I don't know if there's a single bad thing I have to say about it (I have small hands)
Lately I've been really nostalgic with Kid Icarus Uprising it was I think my favorite 3DS game
and also this way it's much easier to weed out people you feel you should keep distance from because, well getting a read on someone is easier if it's 1 on 1, all your focus is on them so it'll be much faster to see if they're a little creepy to you
this is for people who are already trying to be nice- But favoring more 1 on 1 interactions can help the most I find, I do like groups but if you take the time to spend time with each individual before hand it can result in the group feeling richer for you
If you act sad all the time it can push away empathetic folk which is ironic, if you act mean all the time it can push away kind folk, But if you act nice all the time it could also attract crazies and manipulative folk. There's always a trade-off but- I think there's a way to navigate it all
So lately I've tried speaking up and giving these people 'warnings' not as a way to police them but from the angle of 'Hey if you want to be surrounded by nice people maybe act in this way instead?' because if you act that mean all the time... the only people around you are going to be insufferable
I feel this feeling the most in volatile spaces like has anyone ever come across just genuine bullies or generally abrasive people and felt sorry for them
Like the kind of future they will have will be lonely, and you can say they deserve it but it still makes me feel sorry for them in a way
It feels like walking into the bears den y'know. Like it would most likely end in me just being berated or attacked, But to me it's like the bear is suffering too and I still want to help this thing that just wants to destroy me
