we've finally managed to erode the fabric of time with our posts – suddenly 30 days feel like a month, 12 months feel like a year

this remote cabin in the woods seems like a good place to recite from the dubious tome I found in a creepy basement

placing an ominous stick figure on my boss’s desk with an evil chuckle and assuring him it’s for good luck

people always assume I’m a floating pair of eyes, but I’m actually three bats in a cloak

transmitting psychosis aka flirting

if girls can be scared of spiders, I can be cautious around monkeys with flamethrowers

I only go on dates if they are preceded by good omens, like a rain of blood or a plague of locust

Me:
What do you want for your birthday ?

Moth gf:
How about lamps and torches, flashlights, light bulbs and a thousand candles

as long as lizards don't grow wings, we should be fine

bro why are there no chainsaws in your house

he says I’m a creep and a weirdo

Thom Yorke is holding me hostage in a Taco Bell in West Hollywood

ordering black mold at the drive thru

Sorry I was lured by a sickly sweet scent into a lush looking alcove which swallowed me whole

the horrors that happen in the bog stay in the bog

and now the clouds are holding thunderous communion with the mountains

twitter post = -5 health
bluesky post = +5 health

yeah I’m a big fan of body horror (looking into the mirror)

who up being mentally disheveled

we all have that one weird friend who leads a normal life and is not obsessed with triangles

hey, if I don’t tear apart the fabric of reality and induce mass psychosis in my followers, then who will

I have 249 teeth, but not all of them are mine

life is all about getting punched in the face by invisible entities

Sitting in a crowded food court eating a full roast and demanding a jester

wearing a ski mask every day for the next week

digging a hole for no reason

*Writes love poems on all the toe tags in the morgue*

What do you think I’m going to be like once I get born