Two black greyhounds in a bluebell wood.

Mum: What a lovely setting for a photo! Look at the camera!
Us: Nope. 😁

Dave: Sadly not. ☹️
Saffy: She's a very friendly cat, with a death wish. There would be a great outpouring of grief on the village Facebook page if she was dedded and we would have to move house. 😂

Dave: I'm okay, thanks. I had to have my leg stitched back together after I caught it on something and ripped it open while chasing a cat.

The vet nurse had to improvise. She tied it to his collar with a crepe bandage.

Dave: I ripped my leg open while chasing a cat. Totally worth the huge vet bill. 😁

Yup. He was spoiling her. 🙄

Today is mum's cake day. She is 420 years old, in dog years. Wow! Dave treated her to a vet trip. Good work Dave! 😁

I'm always ridiculously happy and enthusiastic about life. Mum says that I brighten her life, so I must be doing something right. 😊

A black greyhound with his tongue hanging out - because he's been doing crazy zoomies. He's standing in a grassy paddock, enjoying the shade of some tall trees.

A black greyhound and a bowl full of roast beef, vegetables and a yorkshire pudding.

Dave: Happy #TongueOutTuesday. I'm mercifully oblivious to the world going to hell in a handcart. All I know is that it has been a lovely day. I've enjoyed some off lead shenanigans and a very fine leftover roast beef dinner. Life is good. 😊

The allies he doesn't need despise him. We're sorry to see anti USA views and negative generalisation about Americans on social media. We know that a great many of you are good, kind, sane people. ❤️

They do seem very attached to each other, but she's definitely the boss!

I have no idea what's going on here, but it probably didn't end well. Saffy is literally always top dog. Poor Dave!

Blue skies and sunshine on the pointy walk today. Lots of sniffs and wags with friends. It was lovely. Zorsted now. 😴

Dave: They looked very smart. I was desperate to say hello, but they aggressively shouted obscenities at me so I gave them a wide berth!

Saffy: The most grim day out ever. Just grim.
Dave: Sun, rain, hail, mud, woods, hills and dales, pheasants, squirrels, spaniels, a pack of sausage dogs in matching tartan coats... and now this. Wow! Best day ever!

Saffy: He's such a mummy's boy. He always cries for her. We weren't even home alone. The adult manchild was with us. 🙄

No chicken, but we did get a sausage roll each. Yay for the sausage rolls of guilt! 😂

A slightly blurred image of a black greyhound looking out of a window. His special human is leaving him. He's not happy.

Saffy: A covert shot of the face of despair, as Dave watches his emotional support human get in the car without him. Mum started a new job today and it requires her to occasionally leave the house. Dave doesn't understand the change of routine, but he knows he doesn't like it. 🙄

Happy Birthday gorgeous! We hope you're enjoying a birthday full of treats and love. 🎉 🎂🎊🎁❤️

Saffy: OMD! You get all the best things. Mum! Muuum! I want a car!

Saffy: Thank you. I detest getting my feet wet or muddy. They know this, but decided that a walk through the water meadow would be fun. I think they hate me.

One of us has a constant glass half full attitude to life. The other, not so much. 😁

Two black greyhounds, one wearing a blue coat and one wearing a purple coat. They're standing in grassy field, with a blue sky behind them. Both are ignoring the camera, as is routine for greyhounds. They're looking in opposite directions, scanning the horizon for such entertainments as off lead spaniels and doodle dogs.

Dave: What a glorious day for a walk! Blue sky and sunshine, lots to explore and marvellous distractions, such as floofy little doodle dogs. Great fun! 😊
Saffy: It was grim. There was mud, lots of mud. I was slowly sinking. No one cared. ☹️

😂 Mum does that, but her sneezing word is "bastard" - pronounced bastud because we're from Yorkshire. We just ignore her, because we're used to her ridiculousness.

Sending our best wishes for a speedy recovery. ❤️

Saffy: It probably won't work because he doesn't really understand dog language. He greets everyone with the same dumb, happy-go-lucky enthusiasm. You could literally be threatening to kill him and he'd be like, "Hello! I'll be your friend!". Mum says he's so dense he could stop radiation. 😂

Saffy: Good advice, but I don't have time for all that! Usually I just give Dave a hard stare and he moves out of my way. Perhaps escalating to showing him my teefs and growling might be a more realistic strategy.

Two black greyhounds sharing a double bed with their human.

Saffy: Mum needs a bigger bed. I tried to oust Dave, so that I could spread out, but he wasn't scared of me. I find that disconcerting. How can I rule if there is no fear?

It's all very sad and a bit worrying for those of us on the outside looking in. We can't imagine what it must be like actually living with the insanity on a daily basis.

There needs to be some kind of hard reset to end the megalomania. Have you tried unplugging your country and then plugging it back in again?