"Remember The Good Place? When you're talking to AI you think you're talking to Janet, but you're actually talking to Derek."

(Not mine, unsure who said it originally.)

Relatable

www.newscientist.com/article/2521...

Good thread

Lore from tng (dressed in one of Data's uniforms), grinning from ear to ear: "Are you prepared for the kind of death you've earned, little man?"

when the nephews at the christmas party ask you to play mario karts

I was already on it, but they can add me twice if they like!

...to your show

Top 5 blocked accounts on Bluesky 1. JD Vance 2. The White House 3. Attie.ai

Attie.ai now more unpopular than ICE

Me reading this headline.

The Thinkpad clitoris is a myth!

The words "mount escape nah bridge and heelhook" in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles font.

🎵 Mount escape nah bridge and heelhook
🎵 Mount escape nah bridge and heelhook
🎵 Mount escape nah bridge and heelhook
🎵 You don't have to pass guard — grab a leg!

#bjj #jiujitsu #Jiu-Jitsu

OwO in Gothic typeface followed by "what dosth be'et this?"

Noticeth boulge

I'm a drummer, making fun of bassists is punching up.

I'm sure you've heard this one but just in case: how do you become a bassist? Learn guitar, then join a band with a better guitarist. Now you're a bassist.

It definitely had someone saying "oh god."

Signage for "Excel Church"

"You know who else pivoted a table?"

"What's the best place in NYC to get bread-sliced bagels?"

Yes.

Show me that butthole" is five syllables, if you're ever writing a haiku and don't know how to end it

(The reference)

Ants capture carbon
Dioxide from the air and
Show me that butthole

There, fixed it.

Back in the day they didn't have dryers, so stepmoms would get stuck on clotheslines instead.

Everyone should take up Jiu-Jitsu or another combat sport as they get older to prevent random inexplicable aches and pains. If you do Jiu-Jitsu, you know why you hurt.

i didn’t watch the state of the union, i sat my ass down and ate spaghetti with my beautiful family

So what you're saying, Musk, is we should nationalize expensive things and then they'll be national treasures. I'm listening.

Normal people knew this was wrong as soon as it was published.

Profiles in Wrongness

If you ever invite a Baptist to go fishing, be sure to invite 2. Because if there's just one he'll drink all your beer.

While on The Man Show, Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla became entangled into a quantum superposition of terrible and not-terrible. Now the superposition has collapsed.

First day running a fruit stand and its spectacular. the fruit is so fresh and vibrant, it's a beautiful sunny day, and best of all James Bond is in a car chase and about to drive right past me!

(Someone posted this and deleted it. Why?)

Less than 14% of those arrested by ICE in Trump's 1st year back in office had violent criminal records, document shows The official DHS statistics, which had not been previously reported, provide the most detailed look yet into who ICE has arrested during the Trump administration's crackdown.

Not exactly a shocker. www.cbsnews.com/news/ice-arr...

I'm sorry the guy changing the rules on the fly is named what