Clearly can’t wait to have some private time with Salma Hayek

*Rushing into the room, sweating, doing my best Alan Partridge impression* BACK OF THANET

a cartoon penguin is standing on top of a snow covered hill . Alt: Pingu looking for the unfollow button too

Me, looking for the unfollow button

What in the Patrick Bateman is that thread

Getting a flashback 😵‍💫

LEGO Product Manager: You finish that Artemis II model?
LEGO Designer: Sure did boss, real fuckin sexy just like you asked.
LEGO Product Manager: what

It’s always been shite? 🤷‍♂️

Sadly Brandolini’s Law applies here

An image of a police report originally in Welsh, but translated badly, into English: "North Police are investigating a series of burglaries after several petrol stations in Gwynedd said they were targeted over the weekend. A number of petrol station owners claimed that a woman filled her car with fuel and left without paying. In addition to the petrol stations, a coot owner selling teeth in Rhoshirwaun has said his company has been drowned at the same time. The authorities believe he is the one person responsible for all the thefts. No arrests have been made at this time."

Remember folks, don't use Meta for Welsh translation work..

A pint. Alright, half a pint in a pint glass. The other half already being IN MA BELLY

Two steps ahead of you, chief

Also, RIP ur guts 😢

Don’t let the door morph through your arse on the way out.

BBC News article about Lidl opening its first pub in Northern Ireland

They did it. Those crazy bastards actually did it.

Ahhh. Maybe just easier to replace it?

Surely it’s just on the peel-off film?

It's supported on three sides, yes? Even with the additional brace at the front I still think you might get some bowing. Recaahds are heavy buggers.

IDEA: Fewer gobshites

Have they checked under the sofa?

Lawyer: Advice? I'll tell you the same thing I tell all my clients; do *not* dress like Clarence Boddicker from RoboCop.

Me:

It’s also my ‘job’ to grind Kier Starmer’s testicles into a fine pulp

Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing in Friends, but with Ursula von der Leyen's heair

Could you BE any more mealy mouthed?

a baby in a yellow dress is standing in front of a large screen with the word exit on it Alt: A baby giving big preach vibes

Drag him, D

Look at the patriots here today, guys. Proper flags. Proper British music. 🇬🇧✝️🍆

These went into an absolutely banging sausage and three bean casserole

Good beans

I don’t think it’s ever been as Wednesday as this

Badass Scottish Ladies drag Margaret Thatcher on the day of her funeral YouTube video by EMPIRE TV

Thatcher started burning in hell 13 years ago today. 🎉

who else up transiting their hormuz?

Another day in paradise, huh

Perfect way to finish that thread

Genuinely thought I had the cunt blockèd