if prodigy’s firestarter doesn’t play on a loop in your head as you read the news you aren’t like me

If the heads of government can show up to work high/ drunk off their asses with no penalty, so should we.

a man in a suit says " i 'm out " while holding a pen ALT: a man in a suit says " i 'm out " while holding a pen

It’s snowing!?!?? Fuck this, I’m staying in bed.

Anne Hathaway bought the rights to a novel about a tradwife influencer who wakes up in 1855 and has to actually live the life she's been selling online. The book is called Yesteryear. It came out 3 days ago. The film rights were already sold to Hathaway, who will produce and star.

Holy shit, I have NEVER been more excited for a movie.

Who wants to go shopping? The mall is having a sale on records: 3 for $100!!!

Probably should’ve rubbed one out 2 hours ago and gone to bed

I noticed I had already liked one of your posts without being able to see it (I knew it would be good).

I still have to figure how to view adult content on the stupid site like some boomer.

What if our porn doppelgängers shot a scene together?

what a terrible time to not be a terrible person

To all who celebrate

Amazing! I’m looking to assemble an old school stereo myself. Gotta find a cabinet.

Let’s get slushies, snacks, rent a movie and watch music videos on Friday night.

we don’t care who you spread your legs for ma’am.

Release the files.

So is Bluesky a chronicle of horniness like Twitter?

one day you walked out of Blockbuster for the very last time and you never even knew it

We are all dying to tell our story to the right person.

Viral photo from some years back of a man nonchalantly mowing his yard with a tornado on the horizon .

How it feels doing literally any task right now.

"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.

Pants should come with a rating system for how well they hide boners.