Telling someone I’m doing some work around the house translates to me just turning up my undiagnosed ADD to 11.

A photo of patriot branded red white and blue candy corn.

Embracing the flavor of a nation.

I didn’t quit here, I’ve just been leaning into other hobbies.

I sowed so hard today.

He slid a Porta-Brace Sharpie behind his ear so he could flick a piece of gaffer tape from his eyebrow on the downstroke and said:

“Son, I’ve made a life, reading people’s faces. Like when I was a kid, the company I worked for had to buy us a 16GB hard drive for $18k and they were all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.”

If I were “rich”, I’d be considered “eccentric” and not a “dirtbag” who uses “air quotes”

If you miss being ghosted, try selling a car on Facebook marketplace.

I can never sleep the night I get back from vacation because I always leave a couple of lights on while I’m gone, so when I turn them off, I’m afraid we’re going to get robbed.

Boston Red Sox players in a handshake line after wrapping up infield practice in Fort Myers Florida

Fenway South - zero chance of blizzard.

A photo out the window of Boston’s Logan airport with a view of loading cranes that look like AT-AT walkers.

Leaving Hoth for a few days. Don’t rob me.

More like mental hellth amirite lol

My drafts folder is already out of control.

Worry not, a strip of duct tape can prevent any going live-ing.

And then I’m going to Julia Roberts “big mistake“ the three repair guys.

Three appliance guys said they couldn’t do it so I ordered a $120 part off Amazon to maybe fix my 2008 dryer instead of buying a new one and having to shovel a 100’ path to the basement in 2’ of snow. If this works, I’m buying one of those Gilligan’s Island Maytag hats.

Asked the lady on the Chex Mix customer service line if they’d make a bag that just had the little Chex pieces in it. She asks me, “isn’t that just a box of cereal?” Now I’m trying to get her fired.

A few sections of red oak that have been split with wedges. A tape measure on one of the bolts shows 8” of luscious red heartwood. I’m making shingles from it for a historic house restoration

I’m sorry for all the nasty things I said behind your bark, bolt of red oak.

(scrolling)

(looking around)

(BECOMING INCREASINGLY CONCERNED THAT THERE WERE TWO NEW QUESTIONS ADDED TO MY PHYSICAL THERAPY ASSESSMENT LAST WEEK ABOUT BEING ABLE TO RUN FAST/RUN FAST IN A ZIGZAG PATTERN)

You have to admire his grudgingly game… Topless in a snowstorm.

Came back secondhand, born in thrift. It never could have all been brand new but some say there's an invoice somewhere. It would mean we're alive not just curses in old things. Me, I astral project to Etsy

I went with the tofu veggie rice bowls with spicy peanut sauce for the vibe change at half time, didn’t work. Guess I’ll move onto to the chocolate covered strawberries and pineapple to see if that registers.

Didn’t understand a word. Understood enough. Loved it

She snuck a chrome Ronson out of her clutch, struck up a flame and lit the end of a white cigarette. She pulled it away from her red lips with a gentle puff. "40 grand might not be a lot to anyone these days," she said. "But, it would mean an awful lot to me."

Something I do. Stumble across a good name, first or last, well, I do try to write it down so I don't forget. Like, a couple homeless strays 'Taromina' or 'Aristabel' likely of valuable use in some fantasy future!

But if yer workin in the noir genera...Maybell Gunn is almost too perfect to believe

A bulbless lamp post above the city of Taormina Siclity with the blue green medeteraian as a backdrop.

A photo of mine from Taormina Sicily.

Her blue-green eyes glowed like the Mediterranean in December - cold, beautiful, and promising trouble. But I had a hunch the light was on and nobody was home, the kind of glow that comes from a lamp one bulb short of enlightenment.

The to be continueds of the mind always know what's next, a defense mechanism cliffhanger. Will you temporarily forget to live in constant recap? Spoiler alert: only when you've accepted skipping yourself

I’m so old, I tweaked my good knee eight days ago skiing and for a solid week I thought I was done, until this morning when it made a cracking sound and got 75% better.

What lies beneath the snow?

Not the night not the day but a third thing in the morning, and even a fourth thing in the evening. That's what a secret rotates on its axis to keep, a set untold schedule for a dirty little optimum productivity

Willem Dafoe as Raven Shaddock in 1984 Streets of Fire.

Granted I may had been a little hungry when I saw him but he was one of my OG bad guys from early cable tv.