I soaked some pineapple chunks in peppercorn-infused gin and put them in the freezer two years ago for "cocktail ingredients", I can count on one thumb the number of times I've remembered they're there when we're making cocktails. Frankly, I'm now scared to open the tupperware.
you’ll never believe what being a graphic designer means
Loving this new bug Affinity has developed where every time I open a document, the illustrations I've applied text wrap to have all moved a few mm to the left, bumping the text around so that entire sections, tightly edited to fit on a single page, now jump around with gay abandon. Love that.
it’s giving
I mostly posted this for @pauljonmilne.bsky.social to see, the rest of you can go about your day as normal.
wait i've a better idea
Wildflower Garden update: the lupins have (mostly) survived a visit from upstairs' window-cleaner. Hopefully they'll bloom and seed before he's back in 3 months time and perhaps even spread beyond the one (1) spot he needs to put his ladder?
kaiju (but make it haiku)
king kong is boring
I hate that stuped monke
give us Godzilla
well fuck, I hadn't thought of it like this before now, but it's fairly obvious when someone just spells it out
I particularly enjoyed the contrast between how the massage guy talked to me about how always focusing on alleviating pain paradoxically trains pain neurons to fire easier, while the physio said that because I've osgood schlatter knees, I'll just hurt and that's that. Cool cool cool.
Expensive massage:
Weak iliachus means gluteal tendons work overtime for balance; unsupported foot arch collapses, misaligns knees; work hip adductors and gently transition from high support into low-drop shoes to strengthen foot.
Long awaited NHS physio appointment:
dont get fat lol ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
product image from amazon where one of the answers is "to be fully transparent as an AI"
Help I found this journal on amazon and the prompts in the image were clearly filled out by AI
At least cigarettes smell like death. There’s something honest in that. This is like everywhere you go, there’s a perpetually-present children’s cereal mascot who’s trying to chloroform you.
Love how everywhere now smells of a vape shop. Everywhere! The subway, the gym, the pub, the shops, the GP’s waiting room, everywhere! Smells! Like it gives you! Watermelon-flavoured cancer!
Absolutely also my opinion, word for word, of Weapons.
VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?
ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]
i thought that was a bated egg
would that not be a gated egg
what the fuck is a grated egg
Freelancing is an excellent way to discover all of your boundaries without being able to enforce any of them.
Also - why the fuck hasn’t he been angry yet? Has he seen [flails at the world]? Does he know?!
is this like getting a shiny Pokémon card
Yesssss exactly this. I work with type. I can work with image, sure, but the conception of "graphic designer" in 2026 is Branding Whizzkid, not someone who can makes all other forms of communication outside of advertising feel good to interact with. Life isn't all branding! Some of it is important!
No-atse
The one and only time I ended up in detention is when I untucked my shirt, loosened my tie and tied my blazer around my waist, to make a point about the Bad Kids constantly getting away with it, the exact moment the strictest uniform enforcer came round the corner. It radicalised me instantaneously.
A cone is the quick-time event of ice cream, no I will not elaborate.
PETERBOROUGH STANDARD - Friday, April 18th, 1980 The memories live on CROWLAND'S Silver Jubilee committee was finally wound up on Thursday evening with a presentation ceremony at the library.. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire', fremony at the library. The Jubilee fund,. described by chairman Frank Parnet s 'one remony atremony are sony at the library. The jubremony at the library. Tremony at remony at the library. Thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library. Theremony at the library. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman, Frank Premony rremony at the remony aremony at the libremony atremony at tremony at the library. Tremorremony at the library.remony at the library. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire', fn he latched onto a through ball. Although be was hauled down by the keeper he still managed to stroke the ball home. But for the second week running Durant had to leave the field injured, this time suffering eye trouble. The winning goal was another 25-yard shot - again from Blackstones' central defender - coming from their second chance of the game. Gary Cooper, recently signed from Old Boys, had a good debut.
Well, happy thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library day to all who celebrate
Given the materials they're going on will be distributed at Zine Fest, I'd rather not hex all of Glasgow's art queers in one afternoon, but thank you.
I've tried making my own, and they do look like I've sat down with a sharpie and a sheet of printer paper, because that's exactly what I've done. Genuinely thought the newly-installed tenth circle of hell that is CF's Slop Market might have brought that proper infernal energy. More fool me!