Do I get to come back with a scar and a silly little hat?

Posting my big meat on Bluesky

I miss being put into a group chat of 50 random people with the first message “ARE YOU LOOK FOR PART-TIME JOB?!??”

*me surfing through reposted tweets* Where is Elon?!

Asking my Uber driver if I can get out after this song ends

Mastering the Mother’s Grip

I’m laying in the ground outside the Washington monument with my legs spread to make it look like my massive schlong

Showing off my firework before it goes off. Happy 4th!

I’m seeing tweet screenshots on here. Get it together people!

I made it out of Twitter