I skipped last night’s and turned today’s on to watch while I ate lunch. Quickly regretted that decision.

Welp, I think I’ve seen enough Royals games for the year

Hey the Royals aren’t going to lose 2-1. Fantastic news.

I feel like I’ve seen this movie before

Tolbert is going to have to steal home now isn’t he

Last month in The Onion:

You telling me a team that can’t score runs, has a shitty bullpen, and now can’t play defense isn’t going to win many games?

My son’s park district team last session was pink so we got him pink and black soccer shoes to match. Granted it was like one of three pairs that Play It Again had in his size, and the only pair that wasn’t pre-caked in mud, but still. Looked sick as hell out there.

the US Navy is "urgently hiring" morticians

Image from The Simpsons of Lenny saying “It’s bringing love! Don’t let it get away! Break its legs!”

American Christians when they talk about the Pope

It took me half a game but I’m definitely a fan of the new Royals city connect unis. I’m all in on my bisexual Royals.

Friday night, baby

A guy asking ChatGPT to review a series of fart sound effects and getting a serious kiss ass response that calls it atmospheric

I can't stop laughing at this post. It's perfect.

gas station attendant: it's a air fryer. it fries the air.

anton chigurh: you don't know what you're talking about, do you?

That’s the stuff right there

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah

Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen

Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah

Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

The Tragedy, by Pablo Picasso, 1903, 📸 by @JasonHannaphoto

Is it because that’s where the pee is stored

This is Pulitzer shit right here.

or, all of bluesky could block @attie.ai right now lol

Top Gun (1986) but it's only Commander Tom "Stinger" Jardian's lines YouTube video by Liland Productions

this is as good as the full movie www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJpz...

Me sitting on a lanai above a marina wearing a shit eating grin and Royals stuff

Getting to watch this one with a nice view from my in-laws’ place in FL

that feels like something you say when you're wearing a wire

This is some of the worst college basketball I’ve ever seen. Just back and forth pants pissing.

What a grinder. So grindy.

Pretty sure they branded it “the tax hike amendment” like they needed graduated tax brackets in order to raise taxes on everyone (because that’s just impossible to do with a flat tax). Really lost the messaging war to a guy who picked up and moved to FL anyway.