Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

Hey! Colbert Mayonnaise got a homer! Good for him!

Alt text! Please, people

Hey, at least the alt text loads

Basallo pitching: oh no something terrible has occurred

Yeah, I guess I do remember that, but we have like 5 first basemen!

Orioles Instagram story has Sammy taking ground balls in the infield??

She knows that they sound kind of like cats! But she has never encountered a baby

There's a baby in the hallway outside my apartment and Toast is very confused about the Sounds From Outside

Mouse charges through a port in the bottom so you can't use the mouse while it's charging: peak design

Yes, exactly! Hugs are important for morale! More hugs!

I really think they're the best in the game and I'm tired of pretending they're second or third to anyone

I have come to the conclusion that, in general, the Orioles need to do more hugs. Hugs are good, hugs will fix the vibes.

Have fun, hug your bros!

Oriole-ing apparently means an ugly game with a thrilling finish dang (12 innings means I definitely couldn't have stayed up that late though)

Oh, we're gonna get a lot of mileage out of this one

All the fielding errors and strikeouts I could possibly want!

I have a paperback copy of The Elenium (the three books in one large book version) and yeah that's definitely now "I had"

And that's gonna be past my bedtime!

Hmmm sounds like the Orioles are Oriole-ing tonight, I think I'll pass

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_E...

More detail on the horrors on his wife's Wikipedia page: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leigh_E...

TW: child abuse

Me: oh here's a book I haven't read in several years, let's go back and read it

Me, later: I should look up the author, I vaguely recall some controversy about his wife being an uncredited co-author

Me, after reading the Wikipedia page: 😨 ok so we're not finishing that one

I 100% expected her to try to eat it

Oh my good heavens

Can confirm, Heather is a TOP NOTCH baseball buddy

Lol go team
bsky.app/profile/that...

I turn off the game, they score? Time to go distract myself and stop following the game entirely

Feeling like a "team construction and philosophy from on high" problem ....

The Guardians did this last year too: they just bloop you to death on offense (spiced up with JRam homers) and have generally solid defense. I was kind of hoping that getting a manager with history in CLE would help the Orioles with that too

This feels truer with each strikeout — but also, it feels unfortunately irreparable without a change in GM (which I continue to hope for, but, you know, he just got a secret promotion).

"The garden expands to fill the space allotted" is always true and always fun!

Are you primarily food or ornamentals (or a mix)?