🫂🫂🫂

i genuinely didn't mind, love, it didn't bother me too much

i was annoyed over my mother yelling at me to get off because of the time, and i was already annoyed enough with other people and other things

nothing was caused by you and i promise that it's okay, alright?

why does it feel like we're drifting apart

i don't want us to

i'd get 3 likes?

and some "woahs" on discord??

literally only one person commented on how i was improving and that it was better quality, one person
and for what???
is it because its traditional?
is it because nobody gives a shit about me?
is it because it's not good?

i just don't fucking get it

i can put hours upon hours of work into a piece of art and like 6 people would ever care max

i don't know why barely anyone cares about the last one, i spent an hour on it i actually used a reference image so it wouldn't look like shit, i did so fucking much and put so much effort into it for what

yeah seems about right

not a day goes by that i dont wish i was better at comforting
and not a day goes by where someone doesn't deal with something terrible

ffuck i'm so dummb whhh amm i liike this

there goes the best thing about me i guess

my body shakes and moves like it's not mine
fidgeting i suppose
yet i wonder why it grows

is it anxiety, or the tone of life,
is it fear, or boredom,
is it tiredness, or energetic
is it part of me i can make sense

or is there no reason
does it simply be

the human itself
a mystery to me
what is it

waking up early in the night
when the noises die down
and an eerie calmness grows

times like this are when i think
when i try and try to reason
when my mind falters over it all

nights like this are when i can't yell
yell about how i feel to the world
yell about how i feel about the world

2:56 am

another lap around the track
another year around our star
and yet i see not, whys it adored
who decided this
it doesn't change instantly,
364 to 365,
gradually but not perfect
here some more here some less
and yet 1 marks special
nothing is better nothing goes worse
just formality
who decided this

please don't
plaese
🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

i had gender euphoria for a little
thanks mom for changing that

sorry

well
i need to stop hoping people will want to see the stuff i make
half the time they don't care
a fourth of the time they at least pretend to care
and the other fourth is just criticism
not the good kind either

that feeling when you finally eat but you're just a stupid fucking idiot so you overeat and get hurt

gods i'm such a weird gross idiot

gods i fucking despise today

what the fucks
happening

why would anyone care lol

i don't matter

it doesn't matter if i'm here

it needs to be done

doesn't matter if i waste away doing it

it's more important

i should calm down and do my work

that's the only answer that makes sense now

i shouldn't be

everything is more important why am i here