i will never ever not regret moving here and i will never ever stop wishing i was home

i don’t want to live here anymore and i want to be in my home where i’m from

i want to go home now

in other news i went back to using wonder water as part of my haircare routine and things are going great, that shit is expensive but it undeniably works if you have frizzy hair

sacrificing sleep before an 8 hour shift at my job because i’m filling out applications for other jobs on my days off from my job yeah dawg

it appears i have stayed up too late on a work night again :/

Instructions for Having a Soul Take it out in the rain sometimes. It has vast, invisible wings that gather dirt and need rinsing. When it tries to kill you that is because you've forgotten to let it look into someone's eyes for longer than a minute. It needs that the way a bee needs nectar in the early morning dew. Every so often, take it on a journey. Let it read long, hard books and let it stare into the depths of the sea. Yes, you can give it chips and whiskey but from time to time let it kneel in a place that is holy like the simple cathedral of the willows. All it wants is to live, to keep becoming. Nourish it, and it puts down roots, it opens. But starve it, and the mind, the flesh is empty; the world breaks down; symphonies go unwritten; the rockets fall; the children die in flames. Listen. It is not too late to wake it. Say the names of the wild, the forgotten things: bluebird, red wolf, robin; violet, child, clover. You cannot save the world but you can open the window for the trapped wren in the cellar. Read a book to a blind man, to your father. Tell a child you do believe her anger. Make your life the first life that you save. —Joseph Fasano

"You cannot save the world but you can open
the window for the trapped wren in the cellar."

hit my A-goal (finish), my B-goal (sub 1:20:00) *and* my C-goal (sub 1:10:00)!!!! i finished in 1:09:24 in the end which feels pretty good considering everything ☺️

a photo of us in a grey sport top and green hat standing in front of s smattering of people and sponsor stalls at the start of a running race

out in the grey weather running a 10k today ☺️

for a while i felt guilty because i think i could have done something different the day he disappeared, but i don’t know how having closure would have affected the grieving process so i know what you’re feeling is probably a different kind of pain. i do know it will start to feel better eventually ❤️

my cat just disappeared one day and we never really got any closure or found out what happened, but i think the initial heartbreak got better after a few months, and now many years later i feel so happy to think about the years he was in my life, without much grief at all ❤️

and one day a woman came to lord buddha and said, "sir, i am going thru some insane polycule drama rn, its emotionally destroying me, what should i do?" and the most esteemed shakyamuni replied "go to every polycule in ur discord server and ask for a cup of rice from each of them that has not known insane polycule drama. give this as an offering, and you will be liberated from your grief." so the woman went to the discord server, but at each turn she was told "no sorry my gf left me for my other gf last year" "i wish i could help but my first partner asked for an open relationship and then ghosted me" "i cant help, my metamour broke up with my gf because i wouldnt break up with her metamour because she was dating her other bf's sister" until she realised she had nobody left to beg her offering from. and the woman was enlightened

the activity summary for a run from yesterday, 14.79km in 1 hour 55

not to toot my own horn but i’m pretty proud of this run from yesterday, i started running seriously again last august/september and the gains have been spectacular 😁

i’m so sorry pal ❤️

“You can make believe it happens
Or pretend that something's true
You can wish or hope or contemplate
A thing you'd like to do
But until you start to do it
You will never see it through
'Cause the make believe pretending
Just won't do it for you

You've got to do it”

youtu.be/c8ThDWrcwgI?...

easter 2015 (also 5th april) was the first time we came out as trans to anyone. so happy 11th coming-out-iversary to us i suppose!

honestly though 13km at 7:35 pace is way better than i thought we were capable of right now so it’s a pretty good feeling after toughing it out in the snow and rain and cold all winter

our run from today, a 13km run in 1 hour 38 minutes 41 seconds for an average pace of 7:35 per kilometre.

in a frankly hilarious series of events today we ended up getting our street directions wrong and ended our planned 13k run about 3 miles away from home. we saw a dead deer on the side of the road about halfway through, which in hindsight was a sign of things to come. oh well!

i think 'A Bug's Life'? I would have been 6 when it came out and i can't remember anything before that

genuinely what do you think “letting kids be kids” means?

idk it kinda sucks

my birthday is in one month and all it feels like is another year slipping away where we don’t look like we want to and the world doesn’t see us for who we are

man my dysphoria has been so bad lately 😔

yes i was a big Garden State stan in high school let’s just admit it lol

also basically no one has posted about this apart from one reddit comment but the “ooo-oo-oooo” bit in the verse and the chord progression is basically the same as new slang by the shins (all time great song btw)

Milky Chance - Flashed Junk Mind (Official Audio) YouTube video by Milky Chance Official

youtu.be/2OTPOKaz8o4?... this comes on the playlist at work a lot and it’s such a vibe, i basically just want to live in this kind of music all the time

headline: “Live possum found nestled in with plush toys at airport gift shop” from australia, with a video still of a little possum nestled in with plush toys at an airport gift shop

me irl

🙂: i now qualify for health insurance through my job!

🙃: i now have to try and figure out what health insurance plan i need to get