Sometimes I wonder if we really do grow our frontal lobes before 30 because some people astound me

I am genuinely devastated I did’t get Hayley William’s tickets and now the tour has started and I’m crying

a woman in a black shirt and black leather pants is dancing with a man in a plaid shirt . ALT: a woman in a black shirt and black leather pants is dancing with a man in a plaid shirt .

THE NEXT SEASON OF CRIMINAL MINDS IS COMING OUT IN MAY THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL

Guys I’m obsessed with my hamster he’s so cute dude

It is coming to the time of year where everyone is burnt out - including me.
I am the teacher.

Yes. It is this simple. Daria at a table and someone asks 'what could be putting you into a flare?' and she says 'um. How about...everything.' mybodyistryingtokillme.com

Guys mashed broccoli is a hit. My dude will do anything for broccoli and honestly I respect it. Thanks for taking your antibiotic bestie I was stressed

I wanna be able to buy physical media again. Like what do you mean I can’t own a limited edition dvd of Dinosaurs on Netflix???

White and beige hamster sitting with his little pink hands up like a t-rex on a wooden hamster wheel. He also appears to have a bit of straw on his head

Our hamster is on antibiotics 😭 and he hates us for kidnapping him, taking him to the vet, and squirting some shit (medicine) in his mouth.

If anyone has any tips please hit me up (I’m gonna cry)

Here’s a picture of him before he became scared of us

Sorry I went awol- the ‘tism is rizzin’

[singing] look at my son… pride is not the word im looking for

The screw fell out of my glasses waaaaa

Also everyone say hello to Cashew - my son

Hamsters groom themselves like cats THIS IS NOT A DRILL

And now I’m feeling really sorry for myself

I’ve taken the highest dose of painkillers I can have and have a hot water bottle plastered to me burning off my skin but yet my period pain ‘isn’t bad enough’ for my old male gym to refer me for surgery

Meanwhile I’ve had a surgery and am waiting for my next steps since that one didn’t help

Me: [Is icked out ‘cause there is something touching my skin through my shirt that absolutely shouldn’t be]

Them: “There’s not-“

Me, before they complete their sentence: [Removes offending sensory ick]

Them: [Genuinely shocked] “How-“

Me: “‘Tism.”

We’ve been married for 6 months today.

Omg we’re so gay

a woman wearing a black hat is looking out of a car window ALT: a woman wearing a black hat is looking out of a car window

My wife is literally such an angel I just wanna —-

I was in that blissful place where I was sort of dreaming and sort of creating a film in my head. Then, a fizzy drink exploded in my face and I irl jumped.

God I’m even embarrassing in my sleep

What do you mean all my students have different half terms ahhhh

I hate doing adult things like changing credit card but like it took 20 mins and was fine. By did it put it off so long

I saw Paris Paloma and Florence & the Machine live in the same night.

I will be in mourning until further notice.

I’m like a kid at Christmas. I’ve barely slept. Send help for my half workday today

a close up of a woman making a funny face with her mouth open ALT: a close up of a woman making a funny face with her mouth open

I’m meant to be picking an outfit and packing for the weekend but I’m sitting crashing out over the fact that I’m going to hear Old Religion tomorrow live and I watched ep 200 of Criminal Minds. Oh and I had therapy today.

literally sitting drinking camomile tea because I’m seeing Florence tomorrow and I’m so excited

manspreading is only cute when women do it

thank you for coming to my tedtalk

I last read The Catcher in the Rye as a teen and dude I don’t remember it being so funny

Happy Wednesday my nerds

My wife has developed a special interest in car washes send help