You can’t do that to rural voters! What are they, black people? bsky.app/profile/coll...

They think you're stupid.

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

Screaming, crying, throwing up

Goddamnit

They recently (last 5ish years) remodeled it with a COVID grant and it’s pretty nice inside, while keeping some of the original charm. They have a pallid sturgeon/paddlefish touch tank, if you’ve ever felt like petting an endangered species

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A screenshot of this post with a warning that Chris’ handle is invalid

Why is your handle invalid?

Rest now, brother. We have the watch, and we’ll see you in Valhalla

Schramm State Rec Area - it’s pretty great!

Nice

BSD was just so massive, too! I always loved bringing kids to see them because their minds would just boggle with amazement

A giant motherfucking snapping turtle that weighed 102 lbs, was likely over 100 years old and looks like bowser

Ah shit the giant snapping turtle at Aksarben Aquarium died. RIP Big Snap Daddy

Who is Troy McClure?

Anyone know a way to make it not do that

Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong, Loch Ness
Goblin, Gru, a Minion with no conscience

@levarius.bsky.social amirite

We had 58 yesterday and 81 today. Traded placed

Talk about a fowl ball, amirite

I can already tell this is the level of funny/good post that will be lodged in my head for days

Is this the part where we get to remind you that Nebraska sent more electoral votes to Harris than Pennsylvania, Nevada, Michigan and Wisconsin? Even if we hadn’t, we deserve good local journalism to work to correct the issues

Or are you gonna just keep being a smug asshat for no reason

And they do really great work covering these important issues! Hence the award!

this will be really fun to watch whether you're a fan of fencing or Drugs

math nerds celebrate on 1/5

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

I don’t post public spoilers this early

VERY COOL PERSON: It's four-twenty, you know what that means?

ME: Hell yeah! [starts shoving blackbirds into a pie]

"Incandescent with rage." Oh really? Well, I'm LED with apathy

Very quotable movie too