hi rogs 👋

say what will about netflix but they really captured the blockbuster experience of browsing for an hour trying to decide what to watch and then having to leave without renting anything because the one movie you wanted wasn’t there

the moon is a hologram, you can clearly see it taper out and disappear where their machine runs out of memory

that’s only 50/week

I only play ARAM which prevents me from doing that same thing

I hope they remember the command to manually start the bluetooth daemon until they can get init scripts set up properly

HR: I know it’s slang but you can’t ask your coworkers if they’re tired of “rawdogging the working conditions”

why call it a union when “coworkers with benefits” is just as accurate

if your kid graduates elementary school without know what a bootloader is you’ve failed them as a parent

3rd grader about to have the steepest learning curve of their life so far: “what’s a tiling window manager?”

oh and the school program requires closed source sound drivers and a custom X1 config because fuck those kids

if I was in charge of a school I’d give each student a linux laptop and tell them they had to do some course work on there but in reality the laptop is configured wrong on purpose and the actual course work is fucking around with the laptop until the school program actually installs/runs

looking forward to the rest of the anthology:

The Duke of Croque Monsieur
The Baron of Chicken Club
The President of Cheesesteak

why don’t my emotions regulate themselves for once

I bet you could make a pretty cool portable candle in a chapstick tube

we know Jesus was a man because he disappeared for the whole weekend and then showed up late to a function expecting everyone to worship him

you can make red wine too, but you’ll have to add a few drops of blue as well

BARTENDER TIP: if you’re out of rose just add some red food coloring to white wine, no one can tell the difference

first date idea: I wake up in the middle of the night and you are ominously staring at me from the shadows in the corner

[about to make my worst decision of the decade] I think I need to do something to advance the plot a little

when it does happen i hope all of bluesky spam reposts every single one of these so that’s all anyone can see on the timeline

My therapist says my “spider sense” is just anxiety, and my hands are only sticking to walls because I just ate an ice cream sandwich.

oh yeah it could be that because I guess I mostly wash the pan after cooking acidic foods

[dramatic sci fi movie voice] but I have to try

Ah, fucked up your sleep schedule again have you

soap is supposed to be fine but I find that I need to reseason mine way more often if I’m regularly washing it with soap and idk why. seems like it takes just a little off the top every time

every ai product now is like “hey you know how users are always able to clearly and correctly articulate what they want?” which is hilarious if you’ve ever been involved in product work before

this is my current system but the place I’m renting has a glass shower stall so I have to throw it really high and it’s super loud and occasionally knocks stuff over. having a functional brain would be more efficient

this is actually genius, but doesn’t the water make the ink run?

trying to figure out how to pass a message from my innie (me inside the shower) to my outie (me out of the shower) that we’re low on body wash