Somebody broke into the Springfield morgue

He frew up

FACE/OFF, RUNNER/ON

“Did you get your ears pierced?”

“No, I got them all pierced”

I can’t believe it. He died on the toilet and his poopy ass is fused to the porcelain and they’ve been trying to figure out how to pry it off his nude ass for the last three days. Oh and also his really long tie was dipped in the bowl

Let’s cut the bullshit. When Snoopy is wearing sunglasses, he isn’t Snoopy. He’s Joe Cool.

You are now saved in my phone as Butt Mother

“Give me back my son” - Mel Gibson

VERY disappointed they made Bobby Hill have sex. He was supposed to be a beacon of hope for weird, unfuckable losers. I am not this btw

Might do some posting on here today, we’ll see

jar jar binks shower name, sadly

Here is me

I had the exact same thing. Check mate.

Ify, have you considered going right to Heck?

Hey

Logged on here and saw a titty. Disgusting.

Fompkins

Oh god no

I will never be as happy as I was here

Have you had Italian boiled bread and kale soup? It’s so good

Democrats be like it’s actually the Gulf of Brat

What if I ate the football?! 😋😂

Be nice to trans people godammit

“Sean Penn Station” makes you think

Just remember: Hurt Lockers Hurt Locker

All the pilots are woke! I overheard them talking about their squishmellow collections at the airport!! They were showing pictures of their Warhammer 4K figurines! Please Trump, Stop this nonsense!!!

My boss is five years younger than me and rides a motorcycle. I ain’t shit 😔

“he’s just a little guy”

You guys, it was a ROMAN Salute. Everybody knows that! It definitely wasn’t something I had to look up in order to defend the guy

the HS principal getting on the intercom to tell the school Laura Palmer had died but bursting into tears instead is legit one of the funniest things I had ever seen. RIP David Lynch