he doesn’t want to turn the air Copper Blue

that bloody bloke… I’m Spurs but he awakens something visceral in me

Haaland, you big beautiful goth

the football equivalent of starting smoking in your 40s

I’ll never forget watching The Wicker Man with my outer Hebridean mum. “I just don’t know where there got all that wicker from”

petition to get JD Vance to campaign for an Arsenal league win

A screenshot of a message from Morrissey on Morrissey Central: 'SALFORD LADS CLUB April 12, 2026 "For those who care about detail, being photographed outside of Salford Lads Club was not a Smiths idea or design, it was solely my idea, to which as usual the other three initially viewed as more unnecessary Morrissey lunacy. Now that millions of people come from all over the world to be photographed on that very spot, it is claimed as a Smiths idea. It wasn't, it isn't, and it never shall be. If I had suggested a photo outside Kellogg's the likelihood is that the other three would have done that instead." MORRISSEY'

'THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER'

Still, at least he didn’t use a private server for his emails

Celebrity Hotel Breakfast

it's ridiculous that this "London has fallen" bullshit has been allowed to fester for so long.
The best time to deal with this was a few years ago, and the second best time is now

Amazing! Excellent work

“the best Christmas of my life in fairness”

am guessing that’ll save us a bit of money as well, if so I’d like to see that used to bribe officials and opposing players

how is it? I enjoyed My Phantoms earlier this year

Thanks to @alcs.co.uk for the royalty payment - I’ve only been on the train for a couple of years now but it’s always welcome

energy lager

Dear Alan, You owe me £3.

“is all my brain and body need”

It's like you've been trying to collect all the Minder action figures as a kid, but your mum's got you three Are You Being Served ones because they were in a sale.

well that’s me saying “Simon Unacceptable Patel” quietly to myself for the rest of the day

it has gone a bit more normal now but that first 20 mins - wtf

Spurs please stop

Mair Sangs Aboot Hooses & Scran

I am ready to rumble, but I am not willing to rumble

Happy for you mate, well deserved. Now go and smash it!

absolutely cooked

Pelf & Safety

An Ewok after it’s had its head kicked in by stormtroopers