Yesterday my Dad started an anecdote with ‘Oh, did I tell you about when I had a pee last September?’

My Dad has just told me about how years ago he paid to watch a pre-season match on Celtic’s website and couldn’t get it to play. He rang the helpline for guidance - the guy on the phone said ‘I’m sorry to hear that sir. Is it buffering?’ and my exasperated Dad replied, ‘No - it’s Standard Liege!’

JD Vance looking back on his week

Viktor Orbán

‘I don’t appreciate your ruse, ma’am.’

The drop-off has been really startling (to a casual observer anyway). A real shame.

Genuinely feels like Burnley v Brighton is a Saturday 3pm fixture three times a month.

Busy afternoon ahead for Arsenal

God, we need this. More than ever.

The whole world tonight

The Southampton board responding to Wardy’s complaint

I was aghast too initially but apparently a replica of their kit when they won the Cup 50 years ago.

Enjoying the juxtaposition of an awe-inspiring photo of Earth taken from a rocket currently en route to the moon, alongside ‘Live from Swindon’

Midlake - album cover would be The Trials Of Van Occupanther (my all-time fave)

Years ago my dad went to the dentist and ten minutes after leaving he realised his fly had been undone throughout. Rather than moving on with his day he went back and told the receptionist, saying ‘Please could you let him know it was accidental? I’d hate for him to think I was some sort of pervert’

Had a Tesco order delivered earlier and have just noticed my fly is undone. So that’s a development to haunt my bank holiday weekend anyway

It’s a miracle that even exists. And one of the great final lines.