error message that says: "oops! something went wrong and we're not sure what."

me thinking about my life

a ½ gallon of neutral milk

They finally made the milk from that hotel

They don't want me!

Smoke first,
Ask questions later.

I'm scared the world isn't about to end.

Chasing rye whiskey with sprite is my new favorite pastime.

I bet adopting another cat would fix me.

sorry if I've seemed off lately, I've been in a weird mood since 1996

It's almost Easter? Time really flies when you've given up.

There's never been a better time to detach from reality and go completely insane.

I'm in the fuck it stage of finding out.

People who ask me for something “at your soonest convenience” have no idea how perpetually inconvenienced I am.

knowing that the human race will be extinct sooner than not is about my only source of joy anymore

In the event of an emergency, good fucking luck.

scientists have discovered that whatever you’re fucking doing is a mistake

Due to inflation, we will no longer be able to walk on eggshells. Sorry for the inconvenience.

I’m the MacGyver of getting worked up over nothing at all

There’s never been a better time to set yourself on fire.

Tele.

being alive—as a bit

Want to see advertisers lose MILLIONS this Sunday? A record-setting low for viewers during the Super Bowl would do that.

Money talks and bullshit walks.

I would like to vote for the reptilian shapeshifters now, please.

I think I might be in a bad mood

Might fuck around and completely give up

One positive out of all of this is that the end times finally seem to be picking up momentum.

hellgrogu