I’m happily married but will happily share every detail about the cast, plot (w/ backstory) and production of Transformers: The Movie (1986) complete with impressions and air guitar solos

yeah I’ll take the fuckin high ground. so I can kick them in the teeth

🚨💐 MOTHER'S DAY IS IN 3 WEEKS!!💐🚨

if you want a neat card for a neat mom, dm me!!!

it can be as normal or as weird as you like

more examples of my style below this post

it’s 1998. I’ve been buffering the episode 1 trailer on the family HP pavillion for 7 hours and it’s still only 1/3 of the way through. my parents haven’t yet figured out that being connected to the internet means our phone line is occupied. life is good

I seem to have mandela’d myself into thinking “ladder boy” was a Thing of some kind but I guess it wasn’t. hurry and claim this fresh new superhero moniker / label of shame while you can

They got suspended lol

loomer is like that invincible snail story from reddit, I’m filled with a piercing cosmic terror just knowing she exists out there somewhere in the universe

loomer is like that invincible snail story from reddit, I’m filled with a piercing cosmic terror just knowing she exists out there somewhere in the universe

[home improvement noise in a skyrim mod]

tell your kids: don’t forget to recycle your invisalign trays or you’ll go straight to hell

well yeah I use the same handle there

[home improvement noise in a skyrim mod]

just need someone to put me in a tiny car that I can learn to drive by following my nose to the nearest cheese

Tommy Wiseau is actually DB Cooper

oh god. oh fuck

I wonder when moo deng is finally going to come back down from orbit

bespectacled simpsons character famous for saying “no you can’t mister simpson. no one can”

no you don’t mister schlong. no one does

my friend just told me they underwent CBT to treat their misophonia and the idea of subjecting myself to that makes me wish the world was flat so I could throw myself off the edge

when I’m feeling extra obnoxious I like pointing out that early 00’s punk/emo music is for today’s youth what disco music was for us then

very funny to see so many right wingers reacting to the infowars news with "well alex jones is a democrat now anyway" like they simply cannot take an L at face value to save their miserable lives

gearing up for my meeting with my manager tomorrow where I’ll be asked “how have I been leveraging AI lately” and hoo boy. oh man. oh brother

alex jones huddled under a porch, sobbing into a filthy stuffed animal, naked as the day he was born

robots for *what* motherfucker? what do these robots even do besides trip over themselves dancing

it works if you say it in a donald duck voice. maybe try that next time

As someone who reacted very similarly, I’m so excited for you to be getting through this part of the show lol

I’m so mad at my local pub for removing my sticker from the bathroom but leaving all the other, inferior ones intact

spaaayce

eighty thousand and eighty-five

[scott stapp voice] heroes in a half shay-ell

dudes do be saying things 😐😔🤘