A giant sword would help my self-confidence. This was hard for me to admit.

Can I be real for a minute? The Pope doesn’t get just war theory. He can’t even do this:

Some advice for the Pope: Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

RH OUT! 🫳🎤

“A Portrait of the Fartist as a Slug Man”

You can tell by my outfit that I play golf on weekends and on weekdays provide cover for management here and there at this and that stupid corporation or something by telling them to streamline by firing humans.

You all should hear this from me first.

I turned down the Guggenheim because I reject their on-call policy.

That’s not how I roll. You knew that when you met me.

“This is ai.”

—me in a fiery abode, to the demons poking me with spears

JD Vance is a theologian, diplomat, and hillbilly still learning what “elegy” means. He’s lecturing the pope (bad on crime). His book on his conversion to Catholicism, featuring an adorable Methodist church on the cover, is forthcoming with Dickfuck Books.

The ai image of a marble sculpture of my body laid across the lap of a mourning mother was simply my protest against local Marble Slab management.

It just occurred to me that Jesus arrested maybe no one. I skimmed the second half of the Trump Bible (there’s a “New” testament?) before posting this.

Weak on crime?

You decide.

“I’m not myself when you’re around.”

—me to me

AI makes Antichrist posting a breeze!

Thanks for saving the Great American Tradition™️ and conserving all that good stuff, conservatives. You’re brilliant.

Coolest guy in politics just OWNED Iran.

Art of the Deal Daddy will feed him extra kibble when he gets home. Art of the Deal Daddy went to a fight with Little Marco in Miami last night, so there’s going to be some jealousy. They’ll have to sleep in separate crates for a while.

Your privacy at this time, please. Kristi asks for privacy.

I woke up wanting to die, but it’s casual Friday. I love casual Friday.

You have to take me literally, not seriously. I’m going to throw a piano at you.

NGL, I had the wrong vision of the professor life starting out as a student. The evidence was always there, but when I got VAP positions, I didn’t feel like Indiana Jones, and I had to keep my gun and whip at home. And that made it easier for little weirdos to follow me around.

A young Nietzsche watches his freak uncle try to hypnotize a chicken and comes up with a baller statement on the abyss.

To be fair to Dr. NYT Bestseller A Bunch, English literature, in all its forms, is silent on the sun.

The separation of powers, a theory advanced in 1748, was picked up and quickly mythologized by some guys who gave themselves heroic Roman names and whatnot. It’s not real.*

*cf. rapist president saying “a whole civilization will die tonight” while nothing happens.

Putting myself out there.

Likes: Soviet realism, murder, my gang, deeply erotic instruments

Dislikes: this prison

“Snorting a rail of blow off a toilet seat is less germy than snorting it off a servant’s face. Want a bite of this groundhog I ran over?”

RFK, Jr.

I became a better reader when I stopped reading. And now I have more time for me.

“Return upon your shield.”

My baby boy out in the streets.
youtu.be/uWxFItoLPWM?...

You can enjoy the Hardy Boys Mysteries, even benefit from them as a serious reader. But until you’ve read them in the order I present them, you will grasp the thread of the Hardy Boys Mysteries teaching only incidentally.

A lot of men ask me and the kitty how to begin with loafers. Aside from quality, versatility is the goal. White loafers are the answer. We used to know this.

BREAKING—I fear the calendar I made to try to turn my marriage around, “Himbofied Me,” has fallen into the wrong hands.

I haven’t! Thanks!