touch my
wee wee
touch my
fucking
wee wee

I remembered it was condoms, but still. I think our friend here was trying out his/her comedy chops, to which I say, "Don't quit your day job."

Buying a sex toy in person was humbling enough till the very nice lady working there had to go double check the price and offer to take it out of the box for me 😃🔫

Yeah well I… uhhhh… how about you go and you… you… you… uhhhhhh 🥺

Thank you lighting and angles cause I definitely need to work on this definition more 🤘😬

Of course, it’ll free up my hand ☝️😉

Survived tonsillitis 🤘😛

Anything “clothed” has been an oil painting over a print out of my nude body

Quantity and density dependant ☝️🤓

You guys probably think I own zero clothes at this rate 🤭

im not a man, im a friend ❤️

yeah i love dune 3, dune 3 guys at the same time, amirite fellas

We need more sober queer spaces. So that’s why I’m gaping my hole a little

Unfortunately still love this angle 🥴

happy st. patricks day 😍🥰☘️

send me money i’m irish

Happy Paddy’s day, now who’s gonna póg this thóin

gm
hairy ass is one of your 5 a day !

*old woman finds out her precious family heirloom is worth $15,000 from the antique roadshow*

Me: that’s so fierce I’m squirting for you queen

This number of mirrors between the shower and my room makes it hard to not stop and take pics 👉👈

Peter griffin

God I hope he loves himself. He’s so beautiful. And he’s endured so much pain in his life

He wanted to cop a feel
That’s my twin fr ☝️🙂‍↕️

“Funnier in person” okay I’m funnier over text. Stay away from me, physically

What is it with gay people and Pokemon? (spoken as a gay person who likes Pokemon)

Job hunting fuelled by the fear of turning 25 and doing 5 years in retail 🤞😔

My love languages are words of affirmation ("you're being such a good boy for me") and physical touch (choking until my vision blurs a little)

Straight men with a pregnancy fetish be like fuck that child in your stomach makes me wanna jack off

Everyone clap for Darragh surviving a hangover from his work Christmas party in February

Gay guy funeral eulogy: he was such a wonderful person. Truly a loss for the entire earth. I wish I could have tasted his cum. His family is in my thoughts

There are people starving in the world and you’re refusing loads? :/