I drank one glass of water and ate one Clementine. Am I a beacon of health and wellness?

I know that torture isn’t effective, but have they tried making them sit down with a first grader who has to write the names of all his classmates on Valentine’s cards?

a drawing of a fist with a purple bracelet around it ALT: a drawing of a fist with a purple bracelet around it

Happy Black History Month, and yeah, we're still doing that.

Here’s the secret to kids and bedtime:
- if you put them to bed early then they wake up early.
- if you put them to bed late then they wake up early.

You are never going to win.

Somebody yell at me to change the seating chart

“You mean to tell me that YOU are going to make ME take a TEST in MAY. AKA: the month of MY BROTHER’S BIRTHDAY?!?!”

Yes. I guess I’m a monster.

Me: I knew your dad when we were 16.
6yo: and you got married then?
Me: no no we got married later.
6yo: but you had a crush on him?
Me: yes.
6yo: … that’s a little sus 😒

I’m like more excited than he is

My character hates mashed potatoes because when we was a kid his mom tried to trick him into eating it by telling him it was warm ice cream.

I cannot put this book down it’s so good but it’s making me so sad

Anyway, this skeet brought to you by: Oh Boy Do I Understand Why Some Animals Eat Their Young !!!!!

Growing up, my mom always told my siblings and I to NEVER pray for patience because she believed it would lead God to send you opportunities to practice patience.

Not a fear of mine: eating the whole thing myself is the goal hahaha

HELLO?! I AM NOT HAPPY.

2yo’s new fun thing is to use the back of his head as his napkin.

Food on his hands? That’s fine. Can wipe it into his hair.

Hands wet from the sink? It’s all good. That’s why he has hair.

Painting salt dough creations with the toddler.

Between all the snow/cold days, I have worked 6 days this whole month so far.

Made some bread in a Dutch oven. ✨ domestic goddess ✨

Photo of a small crab from NOAA’s social media. It’s covered in spikes

Just making sure that everyone is aware of this crab that NOAA scientists found

Obsessed with this ninja who is just 2,644 rollie pollies in a trench coat.

so this was actually mostly unplanned. I thought I’d start w a laptop, then I decided to draw a raccoon sitting at it. Then I gave it a straight little mouth, then I drew another small line to make it have a more mischievous look. That’s when I wrote “hmmmmmm” and then it sorta went from there

It’s potato soup time.

Making some Lil Guys for a school fundraiser.

When I’m cleaning: all is peaceful. Nobody bothering me.

When I sit down: suddenly everyone is full of NEEDS

Didn’t feel like I needed to download any of my tiktoks and then remembered I recorded quite a few about my son’s start into One Piece 😭❤️ he watched 100+ episodes with me before he turned 5

Student: why won’t you let me sit by my friend?
Me: you haven’t turned in all your work yet.
S: well that’s not my fault 😠 I forgot it at home!

Imma crash out fr.

Hi it’s my first time watching Naruto. I just got Rock Lee, and if anything were to happen to him, I would off everyone in the room and then myself.

The kids in my group all chose to be Dragonborn except one who picked half elf. I asked them why they all wanted Dragonborn and they looked at me like I was crazy and asked “why wouldn’t we all be Dragonborn?” Fair point.

I run the D&D club at my middle school and running ttrpgs for preteens is so fun like they are hilarious

It’s 8