[at the front of a bread line] uh yeah, uh. uh, i’ll have the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. huh. i’ll uh, i’ll. oh you know what? here’s what i’ll do. i’ll get the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
can you die of too much news
Everybody romanticizing about the heyday of American manufacturing needs to carefully listen to one (1) Bruce Springsteen song.
So what is the White House Home Shopping Network selling on the front lawn today?
This is NOT what I had in mind when I voted for the man who pretended to work at McDonald's for a day and then drove around in a dump truck. I thought he would continue doing those things, thereby providing valuable services in my community
Don’t tell me democracy is at risk and a constitutional crisis is unfolding and the best you got is a modified ping pong paddle.
Trump signed executive orders to expand logging on public lands while bypassing environmental protections. His “energy emergency” declaration lets him override regulations entirely.
can't believe it's 2025 and i'm stressed about tariffs and measles, like am i a character in an american girl book
This whole country wants bad things for others more than they want good things for themselves.
After playing a fictional member of the Resistance a long time ago, I never could have imagined it ever happening in real life, but here we are.
The good news is i saved you 60 billion dollars. The bad news is that is a typo i saved you 600 dollars and also your plane is falling out of the sky
In this last month I have made the mental transition from "air travel is very safe" to "at least it would be a relatively quick way to go"
Maybe I wasn’t clear about this. I wanted more egg and no plane crash, not many plane crash and no egg.
NATHAN MACKINNON 🚨
Two goals in 46 seconds!
Nova Scotia stand up!
You know an issue is EXTREMELY unifying in Canada when I find myself pumping my fist in aggressive support to a Steve fucking Simmons tweet. The quintessential "the worst person you know made a good point" case.
One of our supporters shared this with us—people are getting creative tonight!
We apparently missed "Gulf of America Day" yesterday. But at least one person celebrated by sending us an aggressively hand-drawn map revision. Unfortunately, MapQuest does not accept submissions in crayon.
Absolute unit
Elon Musk’s staffers have taken an additional $7.4 million this week in expenses, bringing the total to $14.4 million.
Nathan MacKinnon makes it 1-0 for Canada on the power play 🚨
no-look backhand pass from Crosby
I think an American flag created entirely by black men at the Superbowl is one of the best pieces of art I've seen in my lifetime. I hope it actually killed some folks. And I hope it finally closes the fucking book on the argument that we shouldn't use the flag to fight the God damned fascists.
I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.
I know pointing out hypocrisy doesn’t matter anymore, but if there’s one person I wouldn’t want to be the judge of who goes into locker rooms, it would be the man who openly boasted about walking into dressing rooms of underage girls
Holy shit. A real hockey trade.
